Do you get the strong impression that your partner doesn’t respect you?

It’s possible that it’s true… and there’s a good reason why.

Even better—there’s something you can do to gain your partner’s respect. You just need to change one thing. But don’t worry, you can handle this, and you will feel better once you do. Because nothing feels better than knowing that we have the respect of the person we love and value. Please keep reading…

If Your Partner Walks All Over You…

You may feel as if your partner always gets his or her way, walking all over you and what you may want.

It can be very frustrating to feel like someone is walking all over you, and that what you want and need is completely ignored, and only your partner’s thoughts and feelings, wants and desires seem to count.

Stop right there. It does NOT have to be this way. In fact, it’s healthier for everyone involved—and the long-term health of your relationship—that you stop this pattern right now.

But you may feel resistant to the idea that you have any power to stop your partner from walking all over you. You may even believe, deep down inside, that your partner actually likes walking all over you, that it brings them a great deal of satisfaction. You’re about to learn the truth.

The #1 Reason Your Partner Has Lost Respect for You

Here’s the truth: only a tiny fraction of people in the world actually enjoy walking all over other people. Most healthy, balanced, normal people would rather not walk all over someone else—least of all their partner.

And the reason this pattern develops in the first place is because one of the partner’s refuses to speak up for themselves and say what they want, or what they think. This places the burden squarely on the other partner to make the decisions and guide the relationship.

Your partner isn’t so much walking all over you as he or she is guiding the ship because you’ve abandoned copiloting at the helm.

And your partner can’t respect you because you aren’t standing up for yourself. When you aren’t assertive and state what your feelings are, it leaves the burden on your partner to try to guess what you may be thinking or feeling, and then try to move forward based on their guesswork.

Your partner begins to disrespect you because you won’t show your backbone.

Did you know that showing your backbone is a sexy trait? That’s why we are drawn to stories with heroes and heroines—they make our heart soar and our loins, well, you get the idea. No one falls for the coward who turns tail and runs or won’t otherwise speak up for themselves. They just aren’t sexy. Or respected.

So if you want to regain your partner’s respect, here’s what you do:

Tip of the Day: Speak up for yourself!

So you probably saw that one coming. You may even be thinking, “Easier said than done.” But here’s what you need to know: it’s a communication skill that just takes some practice, and the more you practice it the easier it becomes.

Start small, but start today. If your partner says “I’d like to order pizza tonight” and you’re not in the mood for pizza, then say: “I’m not in the mood for pizza. How about Chinese?” It doesn’t have to be said in a confrontational tone, and don’t whine. Just state it as a fact: You don’t want pizza. It’s not the end of the world.

Going along to get along can become boring and frustrating—to both of you—so speak up and share your opinion.

Become the hero or heroine of your life. It’s sexy.

My best to you as you speak up for yourself a little more each day.

Do you think your partner respects you or not? Why?

Do you speak up for yourself?

If not, what holds you back? Do you fear losing your partner if you speak up?

Please share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.

Wishing you hope and healing for your marriage,

Stephanie Anderson

Editor-in-Chief

Marriage Sherpa

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