Is Your Spouse Lying, or Telling the Truth?

February 21st, 2011

Your spouse lied in order to carry on an affair, whether it was one time or over an extended period of time. The cheater either told deliberate lies, or lied by omission, or some combination of the two.

Now you’re trying to reconcile with your spouse and save your marriage. But the question lingers: Is my spouse lying to me, or is he/she telling the truth—this time?

In this blog, we’re going to explore the after-effects of lying as related to an affair, and the 2 critical dimensions needed to rebuild trust and honesty in an effort to save your marriage and survive the affair.

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The 3 Necessary Ingredients for Falling in Love Again

February 14th, 2011

After an affair, when your marriage has been through a meltdown, you may wonder how to pick up, move forward—and feel love for your spouse once again.

Maybe you’ve done the work necessary to save and rebuild your marriage: worked through negative thoughts and images, and gotten off the emotional rollercoaster to something resembling solid ground. Many couples want to know: how do I fall in love with my spouse again?

In this blog, I’ll give you three key ingredients that need to be in place in order to be successful at finding love once more with your spouse.

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Stop the Emotional Drain of Haunting Affair Images

January 31st, 2011

One of the biggest heartaches for an injured spouse is the haunting images of their spouse’s lover, playing like a horror-movie in their head.

For victims of cheating, there are many reactions to this onslaught of images:

• Loss of sleep
• Lack of appetite
• Inability to focus on tasks
• Struggle to save the marriage

It’s not unusual to carry around these images in your mind. I’ll give you 3 steps for ridding your mind of them so you can get your life back and your emotions on the healing path.

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Guidelines for Creating a Code of Transparency in your Marriage

January 24th, 2011

The trust you had in your spouse has been ruptured. You want to save your marriage, yet, you don’t know how to find a way to trust your partner again.
But if you don’t—you realize that will mean the end of your marriage. You’re in a stalemate: you don’t trust your spouse, and your spouse doesn’t know how to make you believe what they’re saying, and you keep waiting to know that your spouse is being honest with you.
That’s where your attempts to save your marriage may be faltering: what you’re focusing on. Read on to learn the basic guidelines for rebuilding trust—by establishing a Code of Transparency.

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3 Keys to Regaining Your Self-Respect Post-Affair

January 18th, 2011

Dealing with the aftermath of your spouse’s affair can be a harrowing time. Your spouse’s cheating may have been an assault on your self-respect, making you lose your sense of self-worth.

If your self-respect has been shredded and is in need of repair, read on. In this post, I’ll give you 3 keys to get you started on your return to a healthy sense of self-worth and respect for the great person you are.

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Save Your Marriage Post-Affair: Reach an Agreement

November 9th, 2010

Your spouse’s cheating has the effect of pulling the rug out from under you while also crumbling the foundation of your marriage and annihilating your vows to one another.

Despite the devastation, many victims of an affair have a desire to save their marriage, with the affair being just a very excruciating bump in the road. They think, “I have invested many years with this person—sacrificing, negotiating and accommodating—why should I give all that effort away to someone else? I want things to go back to the way they once were.”

In this post, I’ll show you why going “back” maybe isn’t such a hot idea, and give you some steps to get your efforts to save your marriage moving forward toward a stronger, healthier, happier marriage.

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How to Survive Infidelity and Stop a Divorce

November 2nd, 2010

You may feel like your life imploded when you learned that your spouse cheated—or may still be carrying on an affair. The news rocked your feelings of stability and safety in the marriage. Your biggest question at the moment may be:

Should I go to counseling with my spouse, or should I drive straight over to the divorce lawyer?

In this post, I’ll help you answer this question by providing you a starting point: questions to ask yourself as you decide whether to seek marriage help, or divorce.

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How to Get Over Infidelity and Negative Thoughts

September 28th, 2010

When you learn that your spouse cheated on you, there is a swirl of negative thoughts that hit you. You may feel numb at first. Then the questions start to creep in: “How can this be? Is this my life? Why would this person I love do this to me, to our family, to our marriage?”

Negative thoughts invade your mind, threatening to sweep away your ability to cope with daily life, to feel balanced, to focus on saving your marriage.

In this post, I’ll help you survive these insidious negative thoughts so you can recover your most prized personal asset: your own thoughts.

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Marriage Help: Use a “No Closets” Rule

September 14th, 2010

Marriage Help: Use a “No Closets” Rule

For your marriage to survive, in general or specifically through an infidelity, you need to help your marriage by building it on a framework of transparency. This means you and your partner must commit to being completely open about every aspect of your individual lives—especially if your spouse has cheated.

In this post, I’ll help you get started on—or continue in—your efforts to build your marriage and communication between you and your spouse, by employing a “no closets” rule.

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Rediscover Yourself after the Affair

September 7th, 2010

Reeling from the upheaval that results from the revelations during and after the affair, your world may seem shattered into so many fragments that you don’t know which piece to pick up first.

Perhaps you have a family to consider, children who could potentially be negatively impacted by your cheating spouse’s decisions—not to mention your home life and your ability to function as a part of the family. You obviously have your marriage to consider—it’s currently in shreds. You may also have a job to juggle—your inner turmoil could be throwing off your ability to focus.

In the last post, you learned 3 critical steps you must take before you can even begin your journey of rediscovery—as you work to survive the emotional destruction unleashed by your spouse’s affair. In this post, I’ll explain why it’s essential that you focus on yourself, and provide some steps you can take on the path to healthy rediscovery.

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