You’re angry right now . very ANGRY!
It’s understandable. When the person you love and trust most in the world betrays you, lies to you, and cheats on you, the natural response is to feel angry You have every right to your angry feelings. I would be angry too.
Perhaps you find yourself blowing up at your spouse almost every time you see him or her. You feel like you can’t help it. The rage you feel about being betrayed is too much and you explode in a fit of hurtful words and actions.
Perhaps you start unloading on your spouse when he or she does one minor thing that offends you and the offensive behavior sets you into motion-berating your spouse, not just for the current offensive behavior, but for an endless chain of other misbehaviors that may or may not be related. I refer to this as “throwing in the kitchen sink,” or “kitchen-sinking” your partner.