If You’re Going to Fight, Do This…

July 18th, 2016

Fighting or arguing with your partner doesn’t spell the end of your relationship.

Not even if you fight A LOT…

Fighting is actually a healthy behavior for you and your partner to engage in—provided you do it productively.

In this blog, I’ll tell you how. You’ll learn why all those arguments can be a good thing, and I’ll also give you 3 tips for doing it right. Please keep reading…

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Post-Affair Marriage: Better than Before?

June 3rd, 2015

Your spouse’s cheating can almost destroy the foundation of your marriage.

Despite the devastation, many victims of an affair have a desire to save their marriage. The affair is like a bad dream, a tough obstacle to overcome. An affair victim may think, “I have invested many years with this person—sacrificing, negotiating and accommodating—why should I give all that effort away to someone else? I want things to go back to the way they once were.”

In this post, I’ll show you why going “back” may not be the best direction for you, and give you some steps to move your efforts forward to save your marriage. Please read more…

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Does Arguing Mean Marriage End?

February 29th, 2012

Relationship advice often includes how to communicate with your spouse. Obviously, communication is a very critical element in a relationship.

But if you can’t remember the last time you had a civil conversation with your spouse instead of an argument, you’re not alone: many couples communicate through argument. Often, relationship advice would be inclined to say your marriage is on the skids.

Is that true?

In this blog, we’ll take a look at what relationship research says about couples who argue, and three steps for making conversation with your spouse a more rewarding experience. Read on…

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Marriage Problems: Emotional Tug-of-War

January 12th, 2012

Many marriage problems are the result of dual entrenchment: you dig in on your side, your spouse digs in on their side—and you can’t seem to meet in the middle.

Or maybe your marriage problems are centered on neglect. You both hold on to small grudges about arguments and issues that you don’t feel you can “win,” so then when you do try to share something, maybe your spouse ignores you. Then, next time your spouse tries to share something, and you brush him or her off.

In this blog, I’ll give you three tips for ending this emotional tug-of-war and resolve this common marriage problem, allowing you to reconnect with your spouse. Read on…

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Time Out: Not Just For Kids

October 7th, 2011

We just looked at eliminating rampant anger in a blog a couple of days ago. But let’s not kid ourselves: even if you don’t have rampant anger, there will still be conflict. It doesn’t have to boil over into a full-fledged argument or heated battle, though, if you manage the conflict appropriately.

There is a technique I want to share with you that may very well save your marriage because it will help you get a grip on that runaway anger. Please continue reading…

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Research Shows Marital Fighting Style Predicts Divorce

June 29th, 2011

Do you think that because you fight with your spouse, the eventual outcome will be a big ugly divorce?

According to marriage researchers, not necessarily so. However, fighting can be a predictor of divorce, and in this blog, I’ll explain why. Read on to see if you’re headed for divorce…

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The One Ingredient Vital to Building—and Saving—Your Marriage

December 21st, 2010

Somewhere along its path, your marriage hit the skids, and may have been additionally rocked by an affair. If your marriage is in crisis, you know how your once-happy “union” can begin to feel like unpaid, overtime work.

There isn’t a way to not do the work when it comes to saving your marriage. But take heart: it doesn’t have to be all drudgery.

In this post, I’ll help you evaluate whether you’re taking advantage of one tactic for saving—and building—your marriage. Also, a plan to make sure you incorporate one crucial piece.

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Manage the Universal Relationship Problem—Before It Destroys Your Marriage

December 14th, 2010

In all likelihood, you and your spouse aren’t immune from the inevitable conflicts that arise in a marriage.

Anytime two people are brought together, there is bound to be conflict. There are always going to be things that you don’t agree on, whether the relationship is a marriage or a professional one.

In a marriage, conflicts that are mishandled can tear apart your marital bond, and derail your efforts toward achieving marital harmony. Add in the tumultuous effects of an affair, and you have a recipe for a powder keg to detonate when you experience conflicting views.

In this post, we’ll take a look at how you can resolve conflict with your husband or wife in a meaningful way—especially if you’re working to save your marriage after an affair.

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Marriage Compromise: Do You and Your Spouse Do It?

August 3rd, 2010

You and your spouse could have a disagreement that begins like this:

One of you has just received a bonus check from work. Your spouse thinks it should be spent on a nice vacation. You say it should be placed into savings in case the hot water heater goes.

You both offer good reasons to support your stance. He says, “We work hard, and deserve some time away as a reward.” You say, “Sure we do, but I also don’t want to take cold showers when the water heater finally goes!”

Both of you have a strong opinion, neither of you will give an inch, and every encounter you have becomes an opportunity to further advance why you’re “right.” Each of you digs in your heels. What starts out as a simple argument escalates into a full-blown battle. The unity of your relationship is jeopardized as you both become more entrenched on your own “side.” Heated arguments and steamy silences ensue, and a divide develops between you.

You’re at a standstill and neither of you wants to give up your position. What then?

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Communicate without Arguing

April 6th, 2010

How to Communicate Without Arguing

Terry was lost in his thoughts as he drove home after a long, grueling day at the office. He was not looking forward to arriving home. After spending all day trying to get prospective clients to give him their business, he was convinced that upon getting home that his wife, Donna, was going to give him the business, and he wasn’t buying it.

“I can hear it now already,” he thought to himself. “The minute I get in the door, ‘We need to talk!’ will be the first words out of her mouth.” He wished that he could tell her, “No, you need to talk and I am supposed to listen to you endlessly drone on with the same old song and dance.”

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