You found out your spouse had an affair, and the indescribable devastation you feel has shredded your emotions and taken over your every thought.
You realize that marriage is a partnership, and as such, there’s a part of you that wants to shoulder some of the blame for your spouse’s cheating.
Don’t you dare.
Your responsibility comes now, post-affair. In this blog, we’ll look at 3 key responsibilities you have now that the affair is out in the open and as you try to pick up the pieces of your life and your marriage.
Cheaters can’t always say why they stepped outside of their marriage and had an affair. They’re probably not very sure themselves of the “reason” why.
When it comes to cheating, there is no clear reason that can ever make it okay to cheat. But victims of affairs always have a justification for why the affair happened, and it usually hinges on needs.
In this blog, we’re going to look at just 2 needs found within a marriage, and I’ll provide you with conversation starters to begin exploring these particular needs as you work to save your marriage.
Do you find yourself desperately trying to understand why your spouse cheated? Do you search your brain looking for a logical explanation to make sense of your spouse’s actions only to be left wondering over and over again?
If so, you aren’t alone. People who are faced with the devastating realization of an affair almost always ask themselves this question at some point.
If you have gone through the trauma of finding out your spouse cheated, you probably want to know, “Why?”
In this article I will be exploring an answer to this question. The answer I offer probably won’t be the one you expect, but I hope it will help shed some light on this problem. Please read on.
How could I have been so blind?
I can’t believe I didn’t see it coming.
How could I have been so totally deceived?
If only I would have figured out what was going on before, maybe I would have been able to stop the affair before it started.
Ultimately, none of us can control the actions of another person. There is no way to be 100 % certain that your spouse won’t cheat on you, because you can’t control his or her actions.
However, there are often signs that someone is having an affair, is on the verge of having one, or is considering one. If you identify these signs early enough and discuss your concerns with your spouse in advance, you may be able to help strengthen the marriage commitment so your partner will reconsider or stop the affair or potential affair.
Stopping an Affair Before it Starts: Part 2
Today I want to continue my discussion about killing an affair before it starts. Then, the second part of my email will revolve around the healthy way to tell your spouse about encounters with someone of the opposite sex.
Knowing how to do this will not only protect your marriage from danger, but also help build up your marriage and rebuild trust. Those are two very good things.
Okay, on to today’s subject.
Nobody wants to experience the pain and betrayal an affair causes. No one wants to face that horrific moment where your sense of safety and peace is shattered because you learn the awful truth that your spouse cheated on you.