Forgiveness, with a Side of Grudge

February 16th, 2015

Have you told your cheating spouse you forgive him/her, only… you still harbor a colossal-sized grudge?

It’s not unusual for an affair victim to try to rush the healing process, only to move even further apart from their spouse rather than toward reconciliation.

In this blog, we’ll look at forgiveness and grudges—and whether you may have jumped to forgive too soon. Also, I’ll give you 3 tips to gauge whether or not you’re ready to forgive. Read on…

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Can Infidelity Be a Good Thing?

April 2nd, 2012

There are some affair victims who look back on their spouse’s infidelity as a very odd blessing in disguise.


For the victim of an affair, the emotional distress is overwhelming, and I am not about to suggest you think like that today. And no doubt, this will never be a period of time in which you will look back fondly.

In this blog, I will give you 3 tips for making this time of infidelity the best growth experience possible, beyond the pain that you are experiencing. Read on…

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Is Your Spouse in an Emotional Affair?

March 30th, 2012

Is there a new name popping up in conversations with your spouse, stories where this person figures prominently, and you sense there may be the beginnings of an emotional affair?

It’s not uncommon for married people to have what are called “work spouses,” which means they are close to someone at work that is of the opposite sex. What can happen is an emotional tie develops, so that you, the spouse at home, may feel very much that you’re competing with the “other spouse.”

In this blog, I’ll help you understand what an emotional affair is, and how to make it stop. Read on…

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Forgiveness: Why Do You Need the “I’m Sorry?”

March 23rd, 2012

Has your spouse said a simple “I’m sorry” for cheating on you? Asked you for forgiveness? Done anything to regain your favor?

You’ve probably heard your spouse apologize before, maybe for accidentally knocking into you and sloshing the coffee you were holding, or taking the last bit of coffee.

How can you consider forgiving your spouse for having an affair, when all he or she seems to do is ignore the whole matter, as if it were no more real than just a very bad nightmare you awoke from?

In this blog, I’ll help you understand how necessary the idea of forgiveness is for you, giving you a three-step analysis to work through. Keep reading…

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Why Do Men Cheat? Top Reason Given.

February 27th, 2012

Affair victims are plagued by the question, “Why do men cheat?”

It’s a hand-wringing type of question, and if you are an affair victim, you know this question well. It may plague you as you search for the answer that explains the unexplainable to you.

In this blog, we’ll look at what the top reason is for why men cheat—and women, too. I’ll also give you 3 tips on how to recover from your spouse’s affair. Read on…

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Confronting a Suspected Cheater

February 20th, 2012

You may have a sixth sense that something isn’t quite right with your spouse, and you may suspect he/she is cheating. Your gut is telling you… something is off.

Maybe your spouse is sprucing up a bit more before going to work. Or, they’ve gone from a depressive state to elated—for no apparent reason.

If you suspect your spouse is cheating, you may feel torn about confronting them with your suspicions. In this blog, I’ll give you three considerations for confronting the issue—and your spouse—head on. Keep reading…

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Trust in Relationships: Why Betrayal Hurts

December 21st, 2011

Trust in relationships is not something to be taken for granted. So when a spouse betrays you, they’ve lost so much more than they could have imagined. What may at the time be justified as just a little thing, or something that happened only once, can cause damage that expands like ripples in a pond for years and years.

After so many hurtful lies you have not only lost your trust in your spouse, but you have grown distant from him or her. The intimacy is disappearing, and you don’t know how to reconnect.

In this blog, we’ll look at why betrayal hurts when trust in relationships is broken and the 3 benefits of opening up and expressing your thoughts and feelings to each other again. Keep reading…

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Will He Have an Affair? Affair-Proof Your Marriage

December 2nd, 2011

If only you had a crystal ball, you would be able to see whether or not your spouse will someday cheat on you. Or, a magic mirror where you could ask, “Will he have an affair?”

Most of us would elect to have foreknowledge such as this in order to avoid the excruciating emotional pain of finding out after the fact. For many cheaters, they find themselves caught up in a situation where an affair “just happened.”

In this blog, I will offer you 3 tips for affair-proofing your marriage, though there are no guarantees. However, pre-planning and discussion can go a long way to heading off those situations that “just happen.”

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After an Affair: Why You Are Still Angry

November 16th, 2011

After an affair, you’re angry—angrier than you’ve ever been.

It’s understandable. When the person you love and trust most in the world betrays you by cheating, and telling you lie after lie to cover their tracks, it’s only natural to feel angry.
You have every right to your angry feelings. This anger can be useful, but there comes a time when expressing your angry feelings gets to a point of diminishing returns, creating more problems than it solves.

In today’s blog, I will explain 3 reasons why, after an affair, you may be holding on to your anger, and offer some tips for expressing your feelings in a more meaningful way so you can begin to let them go. Read on…

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Just Friends… Or More?

November 7th, 2011

Your spouse has accused you of being a little too chummy with a person of the opposite sex—or maybe even carrying on an emotional affair. You deny any wrong-doing. “We’re just friends!” you insist.

But there is a gnawing feeling in your gut that you are becoming more and more attached to this other person, that it’s a good friendship—but it’s also fulfilling another need for you. And if it hasn’t already happened, you may wonder in the back of your mind if you are on a slippery slope that will inevitably lead to the physical act of cheating.

In today’s blog, we’ll look at 3 red flags that your spouse may be sensing that even you aren’t fully aware of—an emotional affair in the making. Read more…

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