Marriage Infidelity: 3 Steps to End the Lies

December 16th, 2011

Marriage infidelity introduces ugliness into a relationship well beyond any problems that may have existed there before. When your spouse cheats, the affair victim’s trust has been violated—and you don’t know how you’ll move forward past the marriage infidelity to rebuild your relationship.

You can’t have an intimate, trusting marriage when your spouse lies to you—and continues to do so.

In today’s blog, I offer 3 tips to help rebuild your marriage so you can move on from marriage infidelity and ending the lies. Keep reading…

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Healing after an Affair: Rate the 7 Forms of Trust

November 30th, 2011

Has your spouse betrayed your trust on such a deep level that you question whether or not healing after an affair is even possible?

And if you find healing… will you ever be able to trust him or her again?

In this blog, I will tell you about how to evaluate the 7 forms of trust and whether they are present in your marriage today, so you can begin rebuilding your marriage. Please keep reading…

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How to Save Your Marriage through Honesty

September 16th, 2011

Most spouses can forgive a lot of shortcomings in a marriage.
But what about lies and deceit?
When we tell anything less than the truth in our relationships, we are asking a lot from our spouse to forgive us, to believe in us, to trust our words and our actions. To save your marriage, you need honesty, truth and openness.
A common question that relationship experts get is, “How can I make my spouse tell the truth?” In this blog, we’ll examine this question, review a child’s fable, and see how to save your marriage by making a change and implementing a method for honesty. Read on…

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Ask for This to Rebuild Trust After the Affair

May 18th, 2011

Anyone can be duped by a good liar. Were you?

As the victim of an affair, you were duped to some degree, either through outright tall tales, or the withholding of information and carrying out of deceptive actions.

If you want to save your marriage and rebuild trust and honestly, read on to learn two reassurances you can ask for from your cheating spouse to help you trust once again.

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Is Your Spouse Lying, or Telling the Truth?

February 21st, 2011

Your spouse lied in order to carry on an affair, whether it was one time or over an extended period of time. The cheater either told deliberate lies, or lied by omission, or some combination of the two.

Now you’re trying to reconcile with your spouse and save your marriage. But the question lingers: Is my spouse lying to me, or is he/she telling the truth—this time?

In this blog, we’re going to explore the after-effects of lying as related to an affair, and the 2 critical dimensions needed to rebuild trust and honesty in an effort to save your marriage and survive the affair.

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3 Steps Forward to Talking Again

June 15th, 2010

Take This One Step to Begin Effective Communication with Your Spouse

“After he confessed to the affair, I couldn’t talk to him,” said Clarissa. “It seemed weeks passed before I could say a simple “yes” or “no” in response to his questions or statements. We’ve been married for over 15 years, and deep down, I want to save our marriage. He has already told me he will do whatever it takes. My struggle now is with how to communicate again at a level where we can move forward. I find that when we do try to talk, it quickly dissolves into my shouting out my anger, frustration and pain. I look at him and think, after what he has done, how can I believe a word that comes out of his mouth? I don’t know how to move past that.”

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Are Mistrust Triggers Killing Your Marriage?

April 20th, 2010

How to Know Your Spouse Isn’t Lying

“I’m having a hard time believing a word that comes out of his mouth,” said Ann. “When I think back to the time before I knew the truth of the affair, and how effortlessly those lies came when I’d ask why he was late getting home, well, I don’t know how I can ever trust him again. How do I know he isn’t lying?”

Ann found herself unsure of her ability to know the truth from the lies. She struggled with the blow to her self-esteem in being unable to know she was being deceived. Believing her spouse was late coming home for the reasons he gave had caused her to feel inadequate in protecting herself, unable to spot the lies when they first occurred.

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Transparency Part 5: Keeping the Door Open

January 5th, 2010

How to End the Lies: Learning to Be Transparent Part 5

What you want most is to develop an open, honest relationship with your spouse that you can count on. You want to open the doors of communication and trust once more and keep them open so you’re marriage can flourish.

But how do you do this?

It’s an interesting question, and the answer involves a lot of different components. But if you have started employing the techniques for being transparent you learned in the last few articles, you should begin to sense a shift in your marriage.

It may feel like it takes you forever to get there. It will surely take a lot of work from both of you. But if you keep at it, eventually the tide will turn and the environment in your marriage will go from one of deceit to one of understanding and trust.

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How to End the Lies: Learning to Be Transparent Part 4

December 29th, 2009

Has our whole relationship been a lie? Did he ever tell me the truth? Who else has she slept with? Was this really the only affair? What other kinds of horrible atrocities has my spouse committed?

These are some of the questions that torment a person injured by an affair.

If you’re the injured person, you are already well acquainted with questions like these. They may plague you day and night now that you have learned about the affair, making you suffer in ways you never imagined you could.

If you’re the cheater, you may not realize just how much was lost when you had the affair. But let me tell you, your spouse’s trust in you was shattered.

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How to End the Lies: Learning to Be Transparent Part 3

December 22nd, 2009

You no longer trust your spouse. That’s the crux of the problem. When he goes to work you wonder whether or not he is in contact with “her.” When she goes out dancing on the weekend with her girlfriends you wonder if “he” will be there.

When your spouse is home late from work without calling, it sets off a series of paranoid images that flash through your mind like a horror film. When you call his cell phone or office and there is no answer, you automatically assume he is at her place .

You’re suspicious. And it’s eating you alive.

This unwelcome change in your psyche is an unfortunate but absolutely natural outcome when you have suffered from an affair. You have been lied to so regularly for so long that you can’t help but wonder whether or not anything your spouse says or does is genuine.

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