Has your spouse betrayed your trust on such a deep level that you question whether or not healing after an affair is even possible?
And if you find healing… will you ever be able to trust him or her again?
In this blog, I will tell you about how to evaluate the 7 forms of trust and whether they are present in your marriage today, so you can begin rebuilding your marriage. Please keep reading…
Take This One Step to Begin Effective Communication with Your Spouse
“After he confessed to the affair, I couldn’t talk to him,” said Clarissa. “It seemed weeks passed before I could say a simple “yes” or “no” in response to his questions or statements. We’ve been married for over 15 years, and deep down, I want to save our marriage. He has already told me he will do whatever it takes. My struggle now is with how to communicate again at a level where we can move forward. I find that when we do try to talk, it quickly dissolves into my shouting out my anger, frustration and pain. I look at him and think, after what he has done, how can I believe a word that comes out of his mouth? I don’t know how to move past that.”
How to End the Lies: Learning to Be Transparent Part 5
What you want most is to develop an open, honest relationship with your spouse that you can count on. You want to open the doors of communication and trust once more and keep them open so you’re marriage can flourish.
But how do you do this?
It’s an interesting question, and the answer involves a lot of different components. But if you have started employing the techniques for being transparent you learned in the last few articles, you should begin to sense a shift in your marriage.
It may feel like it takes you forever to get there. It will surely take a lot of work from both of you. But if you keep at it, eventually the tide will turn and the environment in your marriage will go from one of deceit to one of understanding and trust.
You no longer trust your spouse. That’s the crux of the problem. When he goes to work you wonder whether or not he is in contact with “her.” When she goes out dancing on the weekend with her girlfriends you wonder if “he” will be there.
When your spouse is home late from work without calling, it sets off a series of paranoid images that flash through your mind like a horror film. When you call his cell phone or office and there is no answer, you automatically assume he is at her place .
You’re suspicious. And it’s eating you alive.
This unwelcome change in your psyche is an unfortunate but absolutely natural outcome when you have suffered from an affair. You have been lied to so regularly for so long that you can’t help but wonder whether or not anything your spouse says or does is genuine.