Motivating Your Spouse to Work on the Marriage

March 30th, 2010

Encouraging Your Spouse to Believe in Your Marriage

Ann was frustrated, frightened and lost when she explained to her best friend, Cindy, “I don’t know what to do. When Bob comes home, he stays isolated in his own little world. He just withdraws and won’t communicate.

“After dinner, he turns on the TV and tunes me out. It is almost like he doesn’t care about me or our marriage. He doesn’t seem to have any confidence in us being happy together anymore. He seems to have given up on us. I tried bringing up going to a marriage counselor, but instead he said we can ‘figure it out ourselves.’

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Will Your Marriage Ever be the Same Again?

February 2nd, 2010

Will Your Marriage Ever be the Same Again?

“I just wish it could go back to the way it used to be. We were so happy before he cheated. I loved our marriage. And despite what he says, I think he did too. We had so much fun together. I wonder if we’ll ever feel that way again .

Do you think our marriage will ever be the same? Can’t we just go back to how it was before the affair?”

I can’t begin to tell you how many people have asked me questions like these over the years. I would say it’s one of the most common questions I get in my practice.

And, frankly, when I hear this question it always reminds me of the problem thinking that often leads to divorce.

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I Love You, but I’m No Longer In Love with You

December 8th, 2009

When Carol heard the words come out of Dave’s
mouth, she felt like someone had reached inside her chest
and torn her heart out.

“I love you, but I’m no longerin love with you.”

Hot tears streamed down her cheeks. It seemed
like her whole world was coming apart at the seams.

“Look, it’s not that I don’t care for you anymore.
I do. It’s just that . well you’re my best friend. I love
you. I just don’t feel
that way anymore.”

She felt the air catch in her throat as she tried to breathe
through her tears. They had been through hard
times before, but she never expected anything like this.

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