The Forgiveness Dilemma (Tips on Managing Stages)

August 31st, 2015

Forgiveness? If your spouse cheated on you, probably one of the last thoughts you have right now is whether or not you should forgive.

Doesn’t that imply that you should somehow forget the betrayal?

Forgiveness is in the eye of the beholder: when you behold your cheating spouse before you, what are you thinking?

In this blog, we’ll examine forgiveness, and some of the back-and-forth stages you may need to go through before you can reach a place to even consider the question. Please keep reading…

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The 3 Barriers to Forgiveness

March 16th, 2015

One of the most difficult decisions you’ll make post-affair—beyond whether or not to save your marriage—is whether or not to forgive your spouse.

The choice is yours, and there’s no right or wrong. You’ll either want to grant forgiveness, or it will be something you can’t abide the thought of doing.

In this blog, we’ll look at three barriers to forgiveness, if you find yourself stuck. Read on…

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Forgiveness, with a Side of Grudge

February 16th, 2015

Have you told your cheating spouse you forgive him/her, only… you still harbor a colossal-sized grudge?

It’s not unusual for an affair victim to try to rush the healing process, only to move even further apart from their spouse rather than toward reconciliation.

In this blog, we’ll look at forgiveness and grudges—and whether you may have jumped to forgive too soon. Also, I’ll give you 3 tips to gauge whether or not you’re ready to forgive. Read on…

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Post-Affair Marriage: Starting with a Clean Slate

February 2nd, 2015

Your marriage has been wrecked by an affair. From the ruins and ashes caused by your spouse’s selfish behavior, a new—and improved—relationship can be born.

But from where you’re presently standing, you may not be able yet to visualize such a thing.

In this blog, I’ll give you a glimpse of what the future of your marriage can look like, starting from a clean slate. Please keep reading…

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Dealing with Affairs and Forgiveness

January 16th, 2012

Where does forgiveness come from for people dealing with affairs? Is it the rational part of your brain, or is it the emotional part? Or do the two have to join forces?

If your spouse cheated and you’re in the aftermath of dealing with the affair, forgiveness may be the very last thing on your mind. But it’s a question that often comes up for the victim of the
affair, and one that has no easy answer.

In this blog, let’s look at forgiveness and the role of your brain in whether or not you are able to forgive. Read on…

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How to Save Your Marriage through Honesty

September 16th, 2011

Most spouses can forgive a lot of shortcomings in a marriage.
But what about lies and deceit?
When we tell anything less than the truth in our relationships, we are asking a lot from our spouse to forgive us, to believe in us, to trust our words and our actions. To save your marriage, you need honesty, truth and openness.
A common question that relationship experts get is, “How can I make my spouse tell the truth?” In this blog, we’ll examine this question, review a child’s fable, and see how to save your marriage by making a change and implementing a method for honesty. Read on…

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Evaluating the Idea of Forgiveness in Your Marriage

July 6th, 2011

Whether your spouse has said they’re sorry and asked for your forgiveness or not, you may still struggle with the idea of forgiving their heinous, cheating actions.

It’s a thorny question: should you forgive your cheating spouse, or should you not offer them the absolution of your forgiveness? And if they haven’t asked for forgiveness, what does it mean for you?

Read on to determine the answer that fits your situation.

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Forgiving Infidelity: Could It Improve Your Health?

July 6th, 2010

The emotional devastation you face when your spouse has cheated on you has the power to suck you down into a vortex of hopelessness and desperation. I’ve heard it described as a sickening cocktail of rage, anguish, anxiety, self-doubt, and sleepless nights. The psychological impact is tremendous …

What you may not realize is that these emotions can cripple your physical health as well. And the longer you remain in the smothering embrace of negative emotions, the more likely it is to have an impact on your health.

However, there are ways to ease the pain and minimize its unhealthy effects. In this article, we’ll look at the idea of forgiveness which is a huge hurdle for many. I will also review a proven alternative to forgiveness-one that has the power to help you reduce your emotional anguish, even if you’re not ready for “forgiving and forgetting.”

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Forgiveness – Is It Necessary?

May 18th, 2010

“The one thing I’ve never heard him say is a simple “I’m sorry.” I’ve heard that much when he has stepped on my foot accidentally. But carry on an affair for five months? To him, it barely deserves a mention. The most I’ve gotten are some excuses and a lot of shrugs. How am I supposed to forgive him, when he hasn’t even asked for forgiveness, and he doesn’t think it’s even an issue?

If your spouse cheated and he or she isn’t showing authentic remorse, you are probably feeling insult added to injury, and you might also be feeling some or all of the following:

1. Puzzled by your spouse’s “not getting it” when it seems so obvious to you.

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How to Forgive in an Uncertain World

September 22nd, 2009

You want to forgive your spouse. You probably want it more than anything in the world. You want to take the steps necessary so you can move past the awful pain you have endured and toward a relationship that is happy and full of love once more.

Perhaps you’ve even done some work on your relationship so you can move to that point. Maybe you have started down the path of acceptance and you are ready to move on with your marriage, but there is one thing still holding you back.

You’re terrified that your spouse might betray you again.

How can you forgive your spouse when the horrifying possibility exists that he or she will do it again?

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