The Painful Blow of an Emotional Affair

June 29th, 2016

Have you sensed that your partner isn’t fully plugged into your relationship, but can’t put your finger on it?

Maybe that led you to feeling tempted to check your partner’s messages, whether it’s texting, phone records, or emails—and you discovered something that floored you and shook your faith in your partner’s fidelity.

With the abundance of available technologies for making connections, there seem to be even more opportunities for someone to be unfaithful.

Often, the connections that are being made don’t even have to be physical. Your partner could be forming a bond with someone of the opposite sex… and one that can be almost as devastating as a full-blown sexual affair.

In this blog, we’ll look at why discovering a partner’s emotional affair can be such a painful blow, and the reason why those involved in emotional affairs don’t initially recognize how damaging they are. Then, I’ll give you 3 questions to ask yourself to determine whether or not it’s an emotional affair. Read on…

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Study Blasts “Natural Promiscuity” Cheating Excuse

July 27th, 2015

Male cheaters in particular, take note. One study has ripped the rug out from under a favorite, last-defense excuse: “That’s how men are wired.”

The sooner a cheater—either male or female—accepts full personal responsibility for their actions, the sooner they can get to the business of making amends and rebuilding their marriage.

In this blog, we’ll look at this study, the real reason a cheater cheats, and what a cheater needs to do to make amends. Please keep reading…

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Where’s the Cheater’s Remorse?

April 4th, 2012

Your cheating spouse may not be behaving as if they feel remorseful about committing infidelity. Either through action or inaction, your spouse may not be giving you any cues that he or she is sorry for their actions.

This may anger and frustrate you, and lead to you experiencing even more pain. When you observe your cheating spouse going about daily business like nothing has happened, it’s easy to feel as if your spouse isn’t capable of guilt.

In this blog, I am going to help you understand the 3 roadblocks a cheating spouse may be facing and why he or she is showing a lack of remorse. Read on…

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Unfaithful: Who is to Blame for the Affair?

December 15th, 2011

If your husband or wife has been unfaithful, who is to blame for the affair?

It is not uncommon, in the quest for rational answers as to how your spouse could be unfaithful, to wonder who is at fault.

In this blog, I’ll talk about three of the most heart-wrenching emotions an affair victim will experience in response to news of their spouse being unfaithful. Keep reading…

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After the Affair, Picking Up the Pieces

November 4th, 2011

After the affair, you may find yourself still trying to pick up the pieces of your marriage many months later—and not getting anywhere with your spouse.

Your spouse may be resistant to making changes, for whatever reason. And it seems the more you try to make him or her change, the more resistant they become. You are left feeling frustrated, tired and alone—and like no progress has been made at all in saving your marriage.

In this blog, we’ll look at how to go about picking up the pieces after the affair has devastated your life—and move forward to a point where you feel progress really has been made. Keep reading…

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Why do Men Cheat? Emotional Affairs may Offer a Clue

April 7th, 2011

What’s cheating? Do you and your spouse argue over whether some of their relationships walk a fine line between friendship and affair?

Many couples have this debate. Your husband or wife may have a friend of the opposite sex that they talk to and occasionally see for lunch. Or, it’s someone your spouse just met. And most disagree at what point the spouse is getting a little too close to someone outside of the marriage.

In this blog, we’ll look at how to define this type of relationship, and 3 steps to bring the emotional connection back home and save your marriage.

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80/20: Why Marriage Infidelity Doesn’t Make Sense

January 4th, 2011

Would you rather have 80% of a good thing, or 20%?

Most reasonable people want to have as much of a good thing as they can get. And yet, your marriage may be subject to destruction because your spouse is looking outside of the marriage in a misguided attempt to gain the 20% he or she feels is missing.

In this post, we’ll take a look at the idea of an 80/20 ratio as it relates to cheating, and some of the emotional trials a cheater faces once they realize they’ve risked 80% for a lousy 20%.

If you suspect your spouse is contemplating an affair, share this post with them immediately. If your spouse has already had an affair, maybe this could serve as a starting point to discuss the problems in your marriage.

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Start the New Year By Examining “Forgiveness” in Your Marriage

December 28th, 2010

If your spouse cheated and your marriage is in crisis, your New Year’s resolutions more than likely involve saving your marriage.

But the wounds inflicted by the revelation of infidelity may still be fresh, and you have so much anger, you don’t know how you’ll ever get to the point where you are able to move forward.

Your spouse may have said “I’m sorry,” but it rang hollow to you—the words not giving you the closure you thought they would. Or, maybe you are still waiting to hear your spouse express remorse, and you feel your life is on hold until he or she does.

In this blog, you will go through an exercise to help you examine some of the underlying feelings you may be experiencing and what the idea of forgiveness means to you. It may provide you with a new idea of how to move forward into the New Year.

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No Guilt, No Healing: The Roadblocks to Relationship Repair

June 8th, 2010

Your cheating spouse may not be acting the way you think someone should who is burdened by immense feelings of guilt. Either through action or inaction, your spouse may not be giving you any cues that he or she is remorseful. It may anger and frustrate you, and lead to greater feelings of hurt.

When you observe your cheating spouse going about daily business like nothing has happened, it can be easy to conclude that he or she really isn’t feeling any guilt-and may be incapable of it. But, it could be a misunderstanding of what your guilty spouse is working through at the moment. You may have an expectation in mind. Unfortunately your spouse may not be living up to it, and as a result you have not yet been able to take the steps necessary to repair your relationship.

In this blog, I am going to help you understand why a cheating spouse appears to feel no guilt-it has to do with some potential roadblocks he or she may be facing, and until these are worked through and remorse is felt, the repair of your relationship may be stalled. Read on.
When you observe your cheating spouse going about daily business like nothing has happened, it can be easy to conclude that he or she really isn’t feeling any guilt-and may be incapable of it. But, it could be a misunderstanding of what your guilty spouse is working through at the moment. You may have an expectation in mind. Unfortunately your spouse may not be living up to it, and as a result you have not yet been able to take the steps necessary to repair your relationship.

Many injured spouses have expressed what they imagine is the best way to gauge the depth of a cheating spouse’s guilt. Those expectations can include:

1. The cheating spouse repeatedly tells you how sorry he or she feels about the suffering he or she inflicted on you.

2. A noticeable improvement in how he or she treats you, showing devotion to you by treating you better than your imagination tells you the “other” person was treated-showering you with treats and accommodating your desires.

3. An expectation that the cheating spouse will look, sound, and act remorseful when affair-like issues arise, such as when a movie plot includes the beginnings of infidelity, or other things arise that remind either one of you of adultery.

When your spouse isn’t showing any outward displays of guilt such as these, it may be particularly upsetting because it seems to show a lack of sympathy, caring, or remorse, and has you thinking he or she is likely to repeat the experience once you calm down and some time has elapsed. You may wonder how you can fix a relationship where the cheating spouse doesn’t appear to be dialed in to the wrong he or she has perpetrated.

In this blog, I am going to help you understand why a cheating spouse appears to feel no guilt-it has to do with some potential roadblocks he or she may be facing, and until these are worked through and remorse is felt, the repair of your relationship may be stalled. Read on.

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Is Your Spouse Having an Emotional Affair?

June 1st, 2010

“While my wife was in the shower, I checked her work phone,” Jim confessed. “I’ve never done that before, but lately she’s been getting a lot of text messages, the phone buzzing evenings and weekends. Something told me the increase wasn’t work-related, because she hadn’t mentioned any specific work issues going on. When I checked her messages, the same man’s name appeared, over and over. And then I read a few of the messages: they were anything but work-related. I confronted her, and she first tried to blame me for looking at her phone! Then, she broke down in tears and said this guy was just someone who listened to her, something she said I didn’t do anymore. She swears there’s been nothing physical, but I don’t know . His messages showed he had more than a friendly interest, and if they haven’t already, it’s probably a matter of time.”

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