How to End the Lies: Learning to Be Transparent Part 2

November 24th, 2009

After so many hurtful lies you have not only lost your trust in your spouse, but you have grown distant from him or her. You’ve drifted apart. You no longer share how you used to, and you don’t trust anything your spouse shares with you. The intimacy is disappearing, and you don’t know how to reconnect.

One of the sad things about losing trust is that so many other beautiful aspects of your marriage go with it: Your feelings of connection and togetherness, your ability to open up and express your feelings with your spouse, and your hope and belief that he or she will do the same with you.

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How to Rebuild Honesty (Part 2): Learning to be Transparent

November 3rd, 2009

Have you been truly honest with your spouse?

Has your spouse been truly honest with you?

If you have suffered from an affair or some other breach of trust (and you are being honest with yourself), you will likely answer “no” to at least one of these questions.

The reason is fairly obvious, yet it bears mentioning: When trust is broken in a marriage, it means that at least one spouse has been dishonest.

One of the keys to a successful marriage and building trust is the free and open exchange of information or being open and honest with each other.

When the lines of communication are tampered with or closed down by lies and deceit, it sets off a chain reaction in which the person being lied to closes down to protect him or her self from future lies.

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How to Rebuild Honesty (part 1)

October 27th, 2009

“I can’t trust my spouse at all any more. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to trust him again.”

Does this reflect a feeling you live with day in and day out right now? Has your spouse betrayed your trust on such a deep level that you question whether or not you will ever be able to trust him or her again?

If you have suffered through an affair, I would be surprised if you don’t experience this at least some of the time.

When you find out that your spouse broke your marital vows and went outside your marriage, the betrayal you experience runs so deep that it shakes the very foundations of your relationship.

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