70% of Communication is THIS

April 6th, 2016

Sometimes, it’s what we don’t say that can land us in hot water with our partner.

Have you ever had that experience? You’re standing there, listening to what they have to say, when all of a sudden their face clouds up, their eyes scrunch into slits and they lash out at you…

You’re standing there wondering, “What did I do? I was just standing here listening!”

Most people fail to remember something very important: there is a spectrum involved with communication, and you may inadvertently be steering yourself off-message by forgetting this.

In this blog, we’ll get you back on message with 2 tips and make sure your communication across the spectrum is saying what you mean rather than sending mixed signals. Please keep reading…

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It’s Your Choice: Stop Divorce, Survive Infidelity

May 27th, 2015

When you learned that your spouse cheated—or may still be carrying on an affair—did your life stop? Was “divorce” one of the first things that popped into your head?

Affair victims struggle with what their next step should be: try to save the marriage and attempt marriage counseling, or just divorce now because they don’t think they could ever move past the affair.

In this post, I’ll help you make a decision by providing you a starting point: questions to ask yourself when considering whether to seek marriage help, or divorce.

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Jealousy: Undermining Marriage-Saving Efforts?

May 20th, 2015

A spouse’s affair can cause you to doubt your worth and flat-line your self-esteem. The betrayal inflicts deep wounds, causing seemingly unceasing psychological turmoil.

As you work to survive the affair, and maybe you’re even trying to save your marriage, you may now watch your cheating spouse’s every move, looking for any sign that he or she is giving attention to someone else.

While some jealousy may be good, those jealous feelings can also backfire and jeopardize your efforts to save your marriage.

In this blog, let’s look at jealousy, and I’ll give you 3 tips on how to wield it wisely. Please read on…

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Stop Derailing Your Marriage-Saving Efforts (4 Guidelines)

May 11th, 2015

You may want to say to your spouse, “Let’s save our marriage and fall in love again.”

But your communication skills may be falling short. There are the things you don’t say, but what your actions may be shouting.

In this blog, you will learn how you could be derailing your own efforts to survive the affair and rebuild your marriage, and how to get your marriage back on track using 4 guidelines.

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Post-Affair Help: Reintroduce This into your Marriage

March 9th, 2015

Prior to the affair, your marriage had probably entered a deep rut. The affair has exploded onto your marriage scene like a bomb, with debris everywhere. You need post-affair help to clean up this mess your spouse has made.

A lot of couples who are working to survive an affair feel that it’s all bad news from that point on: there will be tear, recriminations, blame, resentment, anger.

No one is going to suggest that those elements won’t be present in a post-affair marriage. At first, you have a lot of rock ground to work through. However, at some point—if you decide to rebuild your marriage—you will need to move forward as a couple.

In this post, I’ll offer some ideas to help spring you free from the marital-rut your marriage had fallen into prior to the affair. Read on…

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Why You Shouldn’t Wait for Marriage Help

March 4th, 2015

Are you waiting for you marriage to get better, but haven’t actually sought marriage help?

You may think that giving some thought to your marriage will make things better. After all, a relationship that is pushed into the corner may not stand a chance, but a relationship in which you acknowledge some work is needed has to be better off, right?

But if you wait too long, you may doom your marriage. In this blog, I’ll tell you about some recent marriage research about couples in crisis, and three steps for turning your marriage around—for the better. Read on…

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Marriage Help: Productive Criticism

December 29th, 2011

When you read some marriage help articles, they may advise things such as, “Don’t ever criticize your spouse!”

Well, that’s assuming you’re either a saint or super-human, right?

In this blog, I’m going to offer some marriage help and tell you it’s okay to criticize your spouse. However, you need to know that there’s a right way—and a wrong way—and 3 tips for creating a productive outcome. Keep reading…

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80/20: Why Marriage Infidelity Doesn’t Make Sense

January 4th, 2011

Would you rather have 80% of a good thing, or 20%?

Most reasonable people want to have as much of a good thing as they can get. And yet, your marriage may be subject to destruction because your spouse is looking outside of the marriage in a misguided attempt to gain the 20% he or she feels is missing.

In this post, we’ll take a look at the idea of an 80/20 ratio as it relates to cheating, and some of the emotional trials a cheater faces once they realize they’ve risked 80% for a lousy 20%.

If you suspect your spouse is contemplating an affair, share this post with them immediately. If your spouse has already had an affair, maybe this could serve as a starting point to discuss the problems in your marriage.

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The One Ingredient Vital to Building—and Saving—Your Marriage

December 21st, 2010

Somewhere along its path, your marriage hit the skids, and may have been additionally rocked by an affair. If your marriage is in crisis, you know how your once-happy “union” can begin to feel like unpaid, overtime work.

There isn’t a way to not do the work when it comes to saving your marriage. But take heart: it doesn’t have to be all drudgery.

In this post, I’ll help you evaluate whether you’re taking advantage of one tactic for saving—and building—your marriage. Also, a plan to make sure you incorporate one crucial piece.

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Manage the Universal Relationship Problem—Before It Destroys Your Marriage

December 14th, 2010

In all likelihood, you and your spouse aren’t immune from the inevitable conflicts that arise in a marriage.

Anytime two people are brought together, there is bound to be conflict. There are always going to be things that you don’t agree on, whether the relationship is a marriage or a professional one.

In a marriage, conflicts that are mishandled can tear apart your marital bond, and derail your efforts toward achieving marital harmony. Add in the tumultuous effects of an affair, and you have a recipe for a powder keg to detonate when you experience conflicting views.

In this post, we’ll take a look at how you can resolve conflict with your husband or wife in a meaningful way—especially if you’re working to save your marriage after an affair.

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