Are You Sure You Want a Divorce?

February 24th, 2014

If you recently found out your spouse cheated, you may feel that’s it: you want a divorce.

Whether a divorce is right for you is something only you can answer.

In this blog, we’ll look at why the decision shouldn’t be made in the early days of the post-affair revelation, and 3 steps for making your choice. Read on…

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The 2 Critical Dimensions to End the Lies

February 5th, 2014

To participate in an affair, your spouse had to lie, whether it was just once or over an extended period of time. The cheater either told deliberate lies, or lied by omission. Either way, a lie is a lie, and it destroys trust.

Maybe now you are considering forgiving your spouse so you can save your marriage. But you are hung up on one very important question: Is my spouse lying to me, or is he/she really telling me the truth now?

In this blog, we’re going to examine lying’s after-effects, as well as 2 critical dimensions needed to rebuild trust and honesty so you can save your marriage and survive the affair. Read on…

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2 Tactics for Managing Suspicions

June 10th, 2013

Has your partner done something to make you mistrust them?

Even if the infraction was only a one-time occurrence, the repercussions of broken trust to your mental landscape can continue for some time.

It’s difficult to escape the plague of suspicious thoughts that can occur as a result. Trying to stop obsessive thoughts may make them entrench even deeper.

In this blog, we’ll take a look at the nature of suspicious thoughts. Then, I’ll give you 2 tips for better managing them so you can release yourself from their obsessive nature. Please keep reading…

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An Affair’s Pain: Seeing the Other Woman

February 1st, 2012

The pain of spousal affairs is legendary: you’re heartbroken, sick with doubt, fear, mistrust, insecurity and anger. What if you’re in a situation where you actually see the “other woman?”

It’s hard to rebuild your marriage if you’re in a position of having to cross paths with the other woman. It’s like opening the wound, over and over again, creating yet new affair images to haunt you.

In this blog, I want to help you cope with this type of situation that many victims of affairs are faced with: seeing the other woman, and not being able to relocate to get away. I’ll give you three steps to take in such a situation. Read more…

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Eliminate Mistrust (in 3 Steps)

January 6th, 2012

You find out your spouse cheated, and suddenly you’re wondering what else is a lie. Is your relationship really what you thought? Have they been sleeping around more than they’ve admitted to? What else are they into?

As the victim of your spouse’s affair, you’re in torment, trying to find out what’s right, what’s wrong—and how to survive this devastation.

In this blog, I’ll help you overcome the horrible mistrust that has occurred due to the affair using 3 steps for setting a new course in your marriage. Read on…

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The #1 Adultery Squasher

December 7th, 2011

What is the best way to prevent adultery from happening?

Make the ground for adultery infertile so it doesn’t have a chance to take root and grow. It’s much easier in the long run to prevent adultery from happening in the first place than it is to try save your marriage after the fact.

In this blog, I will give you three steps for preventing adultery, based on the number one adultery squasher. Keep reading…

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Is Your Spouse Lying, or Telling the Truth?

February 21st, 2011

Your spouse lied in order to carry on an affair, whether it was one time or over an extended period of time. The cheater either told deliberate lies, or lied by omission, or some combination of the two.

Now you’re trying to reconcile with your spouse and save your marriage. But the question lingers: Is my spouse lying to me, or is he/she telling the truth—this time?

In this blog, we’re going to explore the after-effects of lying as related to an affair, and the 2 critical dimensions needed to rebuild trust and honesty in an effort to save your marriage and survive the affair.

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Are Mistrust Triggers Killing Your Marriage?

April 20th, 2010

How to Know Your Spouse Isn’t Lying

“I’m having a hard time believing a word that comes out of his mouth,” said Ann. “When I think back to the time before I knew the truth of the affair, and how effortlessly those lies came when I’d ask why he was late getting home, well, I don’t know how I can ever trust him again. How do I know he isn’t lying?”

Ann found herself unsure of her ability to know the truth from the lies. She struggled with the blow to her self-esteem in being unable to know she was being deceived. Believing her spouse was late coming home for the reasons he gave had caused her to feel inadequate in protecting herself, unable to spot the lies when they first occurred.

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Are Your Suspicions Justified?

March 23rd, 2010

Jessica had noticed a change in Eric’s behavior lately. He was pensive, distant, disconnected. He seemed to be hiding something.

She had seen him act this way before, and it made her sick to her stomach to see it again.

The last time he was like this, he was having an affair.

Her mind reeled at the terrifying possibilities.

What if he had gone back to his old lover? What if he found a new one? She had already been through the nightmare once. She didn’t think she could handle it again.

When Jessica asked Eric about it, he said, “I know I’ve been a little off recently. And I know what you’re thinking. You have every right to your suspicions, but it isn’t like that. Not this time. I’d like to tell you about this sweetie. But I can’t. Not right now. Give me time, and I will share everything with you.

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Transparency Part 5: Keeping the Door Open

January 5th, 2010

How to End the Lies: Learning to Be Transparent Part 5

What you want most is to develop an open, honest relationship with your spouse that you can count on. You want to open the doors of communication and trust once more and keep them open so you’re marriage can flourish.

But how do you do this?

It’s an interesting question, and the answer involves a lot of different components. But if you have started employing the techniques for being transparent you learned in the last few articles, you should begin to sense a shift in your marriage.

It may feel like it takes you forever to get there. It will surely take a lot of work from both of you. But if you keep at it, eventually the tide will turn and the environment in your marriage will go from one of deceit to one of understanding and trust.

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