Post-Affair Marriage: Better than Before?

June 3rd, 2015

Your spouse’s cheating can almost destroy the foundation of your marriage.

Despite the devastation, many victims of an affair have a desire to save their marriage. The affair is like a bad dream, a tough obstacle to overcome. An affair victim may think, “I have invested many years with this person—sacrificing, negotiating and accommodating—why should I give all that effort away to someone else? I want things to go back to the way they once were.”

In this post, I’ll show you why going “back” may not be the best direction for you, and give you some steps to move your efforts forward to save your marriage. Please read more…

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It’s Your Choice: Stop Divorce, Survive Infidelity

May 27th, 2015

When you learned that your spouse cheated—or may still be carrying on an affair—did your life stop? Was “divorce” one of the first things that popped into your head?

Affair victims struggle with what their next step should be: try to save the marriage and attempt marriage counseling, or just divorce now because they don’t think they could ever move past the affair.

In this post, I’ll help you make a decision by providing you a starting point: questions to ask yourself when considering whether to seek marriage help, or divorce.

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Post-Affair Marriage Success

May 6th, 2015

What makes a marriage successful, especially post-affair?

How about taking a break from all the bad things that have been going on in your relationship and focusing your attention on something else, at least after the initial pain of the affair has been managed?

In this blog, I’ll tell you about a finding from relationship research that can help you in rebuilding your marriage, post-affair. In addition, I’ll help you build up the positives once again in your life as you work to heal from the affair. Please read on…

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The 3 Steps for Ending Post-Affair Negative Thinking

April 15th, 2015

Would you like to heal from your spouse’s infidelity and the horrible negative thoughts that come with it?

When you learn that your spouse cheated on you, you are hit with a barrage of negative thoughts. At first, you’re in shock, unable to think anything. Next, dozens of questions, like a swarm of stinging hornets, invade your brain. Negative thoughts invade your mind, threatening to sweep away your sense of stability, faith in humankind, and hope for the future.

In this post, I’ll give you 3 steps you’ll need to survive the negative thoughts threatening to take over your life and give you back a sense of peace. Read on…

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How Should You Handle Affair Details?

April 8th, 2015

After your spouse’s affair struck a mortal blow to the very heart of your marriage, you know you need a tremendous amount of “life support” to save your marriage.

Your marriage has no chance of surviving the infidelity until you satisfactorily resolve how you will handle the details of the affair.

You and your spouse, with committed effort, can survive an affair. But you need to decide how to discuss these painful details—or even if you should, and how to handle them if you do.

In this post, I’ll provide you with 3 steps that will help you make this far-reaching decision. Keep reading…

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The Gut Punch of Post-affair Emotions

March 30th, 2015

Nothing can quite prepare you for post-affair emotions and all the associated trauma. You’ll have more ups and downs than a shaky stock market.

The pain is yours to bear alone. No matter how remorseful your cheating spouse may be, they can’t take on your emotional pain or otherwise wipe it away.

In this blog, I’ll give you 3 steps for managing post-affair emotions, helping you to regain a feeling of sanity during this trying time. Please keep reading…

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The 3 Steps for Regaining Security, Post-Affair

March 25th, 2015

Presently, after the affair, your world may feel untethered. You may have lost a sense of security that your marriage once provided and the feel of a firm foundation beneath you.

Perhaps you have a family to consider, children who could be negatively impacted by your cheating spouse’s decisions. You have your marriage to consider, asking yourself whether you should try to save your marriage. You may also have a job to juggle—your emotional pain and turmoil throwing off your ability to focus.

In this blog, I’ll tell you why it’s essential that you focus on yourself, and provide some steps you can take to dig deep and regain a sense of security that can only be found in you. Read on…

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The 3 Barriers to Forgiveness

March 16th, 2015

One of the most difficult decisions you’ll make post-affair—beyond whether or not to save your marriage—is whether or not to forgive your spouse.

The choice is yours, and there’s no right or wrong. You’ll either want to grant forgiveness, or it will be something you can’t abide the thought of doing.

In this blog, we’ll look at three barriers to forgiveness, if you find yourself stuck. Read on…

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Survive the Affair: Sidestep the Paramour-Comparison Temptation

March 11th, 2015

Your spouse’s affair has probably devastated your self-esteem. Like many affair victims, you may be plagued with thoughts of the other woman.

It’s additional pain to beat yourself up by comparing yourself to the paramour.

As if learning of the affair and the sordid details weren’t enough, you’re now tormented with an onslaught of negative thoughts and feelings that are coming from inside you.

In this article, I’m going to give you some tips for avoiding the paramour-comparison temptation and rebuilding your self-esteem. Please keep reading…

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Affair Images of His Cheating

February 23rd, 2015

He cheated, and you are the one who can’t seem to get the affair images out of your head.

Hardly fair, is it?

It can be easy to fall into a nasty cycle of affair images: you’re angry that your spouse did this to you, and you seem to be the one dealing with all of the pain.

In this blog, I’ll help you protect your heart from continued pain and bring those images to a gradual end point. Keep reading…

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