No Time for Jealousy Post-Affair

October 19th, 2015

Your self-esteem may have taken a very long dive after you found out your spouse was involved with another.

That affair has cost you plenty, in terms of emotional energy, negative thoughts, heart-wrenching memories, and potentially, rampant jealousy over the paramour. Don’t waste your time or energy on jealousy of the other woman or man.

In this blog, I’ll tell you what to pool that energy into—and three steps for taking yourself from emotionally degraded to an emotional font of strength. Please keep reading…

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Post-Affair Marriage Success

May 6th, 2015

What makes a marriage successful, especially post-affair?

How about taking a break from all the bad things that have been going on in your relationship and focusing your attention on something else, at least after the initial pain of the affair has been managed?

In this blog, I’ll tell you about a finding from relationship research that can help you in rebuilding your marriage, post-affair. In addition, I’ll help you build up the positives once again in your life as you work to heal from the affair. Please read on…

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Survive the Affair: Sidestep the Paramour-Comparison Temptation

March 11th, 2015

Your spouse’s affair has probably devastated your self-esteem. Like many affair victims, you may be plagued with thoughts of the other woman.

It’s additional pain to beat yourself up by comparing yourself to the paramour.

As if learning of the affair and the sordid details weren’t enough, you’re now tormented with an onslaught of negative thoughts and feelings that are coming from inside you.

In this article, I’m going to give you some tips for avoiding the paramour-comparison temptation and rebuilding your self-esteem. Please keep reading…

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Affair Images of His Cheating

February 23rd, 2015

He cheated, and you are the one who can’t seem to get the affair images out of your head.

Hardly fair, is it?

It can be easy to fall into a nasty cycle of affair images: you’re angry that your spouse did this to you, and you seem to be the one dealing with all of the pain.

In this blog, I’ll help you protect your heart from continued pain and bring those images to a gradual end point. Keep reading…

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An Affair’s Pain: Seeing the Other Woman

February 1st, 2012

The pain of spousal affairs is legendary: you’re heartbroken, sick with doubt, fear, mistrust, insecurity and anger. What if you’re in a situation where you actually see the “other woman?”

It’s hard to rebuild your marriage if you’re in a position of having to cross paths with the other woman. It’s like opening the wound, over and over again, creating yet new affair images to haunt you.

In this blog, I want to help you cope with this type of situation that many victims of affairs are faced with: seeing the other woman, and not being able to relocate to get away. I’ll give you three steps to take in such a situation. Read more…

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Surviving Infidelity: How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Her

August 10th, 2010

Haunted by your spouse’s affair, you, like many victims of cheating, may find you’re constantly comparing yourself to the other woman. Your internal dialogue may sound similar to this:

“She’s probably prettier than me.”

“I’ll bet her body’s firmer, more fit—I’ve really let myself slide.”

“She’s no doubt smart, accomplished, funny—no wonder he couldn’t resist her.”

“I’m not interesting enough to keep anyone’s attention.”

As if learning of the affair and the sordid details weren’t enough, you’re now tormented with an onslaught of negative thoughts and feelings—directed at you, from you.

In this article, I’m going to give you some methods for putting a stop to this nonsense and rally yourself to be your own best friend again.

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Overcoming the Pain of Seeing the Other Woman

February 16th, 2010

“I see her every week at church. There she is, sitting three pews in front of us: the woman who slept with my husband. I want to scream every time I see her. How can we work on rebuilding our marriage when I can’t avoid seeing that woman? There’s no such thing as ‘forgive and forget’ when I’m constantly reminded of his affair.”

It’s hard to restore the love, trust, and honesty back into your marriage when you are crossing paths with the “other woman.” Every time you see her, the images of the affair haunt you. The negative thoughts chip away at your self-esteem and you get so overwhelmed by anxiety that sometimes you even become physically sick.

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