Does Your Marriage Have The Code in Place?

August 12th, 2015

Do you want to save your marriage, but don’t know how to trust your spouse again?

You realize that if you don’t find a way to trust your spouse, it will mean the end of your marriage. You’re stuck: you don’t trust your spouse, and your spouse doesn’t know how to make you believe in them again, and you keep waiting to really know that your spouse is being honest with you.

That’s where your attempts to save your marriage may be struggling most: what you’re focusing on. Read on to learn the basic guidelines for rebuilding trust…

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Do You Have Mistrust Triggers?

March 9th, 2012

Do you find yourself unable to believe a word out of your spouse’s mouth? Can’t tell the truth from the lies anymore?

If your spouse has broken your trust, you have good reason to be mistrustful. That’s your instincts trying to rediscover the lay of the land, armed with this new knowledge that your spouse is capable of being deceitful–and your instincts are trying to protect you from further hurt.

Many victims blame themselves for believing their spouse–and then getting duped.

In this blog, we’ll look at your mistrust triggers–and I’ll give you three steps to move forward, away from them. Read on…

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Healing after an Affair: Rate the 7 Forms of Trust

November 30th, 2011

Has your spouse betrayed your trust on such a deep level that you question whether or not healing after an affair is even possible?

And if you find healing… will you ever be able to trust him or her again?

In this blog, I will tell you about how to evaluate the 7 forms of trust and whether they are present in your marriage today, so you can begin rebuilding your marriage. Please keep reading…

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Is Your Spouse Lying, or Telling the Truth?

February 21st, 2011

Your spouse lied in order to carry on an affair, whether it was one time or over an extended period of time. The cheater either told deliberate lies, or lied by omission, or some combination of the two.

Now you’re trying to reconcile with your spouse and save your marriage. But the question lingers: Is my spouse lying to me, or is he/she telling the truth—this time?

In this blog, we’re going to explore the after-effects of lying as related to an affair, and the 2 critical dimensions needed to rebuild trust and honesty in an effort to save your marriage and survive the affair.

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When Your Husband and His Ex-Paramour Have a Child

February 23rd, 2010

An affair can be difficult to forgive and nearly impossible to forget. Even the smallest things might bring up painful memories: seeing an affair on a television show, or meeting someone with the same first name as the ex-paramour.

But one of the most heartbreaking situations is when the cheater and the ex-paramour have a child.

For the wife whose husband has cheated, this is constant torment. An affair is bad enough. When there’s a child, the situation becomes overwhelmingly complicated.

There are ways to cope. There are ways to lessen the pain and make life bearable, even happy, again. There is hope, and you can heal. But it does take work.

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Overcoming the Pain of Seeing the Other Woman

February 16th, 2010

“I see her every week at church. There she is, sitting three pews in front of us: the woman who slept with my husband. I want to scream every time I see her. How can we work on rebuilding our marriage when I can’t avoid seeing that woman? There’s no such thing as ‘forgive and forget’ when I’m constantly reminded of his affair.”

It’s hard to restore the love, trust, and honesty back into your marriage when you are crossing paths with the “other woman.” Every time you see her, the images of the affair haunt you. The negative thoughts chip away at your self-esteem and you get so overwhelmed by anxiety that sometimes you even become physically sick.

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How to Rebuild Honesty (part 1)

October 27th, 2009

“I can’t trust my spouse at all any more. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to trust him again.”

Does this reflect a feeling you live with day in and day out right now? Has your spouse betrayed your trust on such a deep level that you question whether or not you will ever be able to trust him or her again?

If you have suffered through an affair, I would be surprised if you don’t experience this at least some of the time.

When you find out that your spouse broke your marital vows and went outside your marriage, the betrayal you experience runs so deep that it shakes the very foundations of your relationship.

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3 Reasons You’re Still Angry and What to Do about It

September 15th, 2009

You’re angry right now . very ANGRY!

It’s understandable. When the person you love and trust most in the world betrays you, lies to you, and cheats on you, the natural response is to feel angry You have every right to your angry feelings. I would be angry too.

Perhaps you find yourself blowing up at your spouse almost every time you see him or her. You feel like you can’t help it. The rage you feel about being betrayed is too much and you explode in a fit of hurtful words and actions.

Perhaps you start unloading on your spouse when he or she does one minor thing that offends you and the offensive behavior sets you into motion-berating your spouse, not just for the current offensive behavior, but for an endless chain of other misbehaviors that may or may not be related. I refer to this as “throwing in the kitchen sink,” or “kitchen-sinking” your partner.

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