How could I have been so blind?
I can’t believe I didn’t see it coming.
How could I have been so totally deceived?
If only I would have figured out what was going on before, maybe I would have been able to stop the affair before it started.
Ultimately, none of us can control the actions of another person. There is no way to be 100 % certain that your spouse won’t cheat on you, because you can’t control his or her actions.
However, there are often signs that someone is having an affair, is on the verge of having one, or is considering one. If you identify these signs early enough and discuss your concerns with your spouse in advance, you may be able to help strengthen the marriage commitment so your partner will reconsider or stop the affair or potential affair.
Stopping an Affair Before it Starts: Part 2
Today I want to continue my discussion about killing an affair before it starts. Then, the second part of my email will revolve around the healthy way to tell your spouse about encounters with someone of the opposite sex.
Knowing how to do this will not only protect your marriage from danger, but also help build up your marriage and rebuild trust. Those are two very good things.
Okay, on to today’s subject.
Nobody wants to experience the pain and betrayal an affair causes. No one wants to face that horrific moment where your sense of safety and peace is shattered because you learn the awful truth that your spouse cheated on you.
What would you do if you had a crystal ball and you could foresee your spouse having an affair 3 months from now?
Imagine what it would feel like to know your spouse cheated. Maybe you don’t have to imagine. maybe it’s already happened. If so, I am truly sorry.
Once you’ve experienced an affair, you’ve walked through a one-way door you can never go back through again.
No matter how much you wish the affair never happened, no matter how much you want your relationship to “go back to the way it was,” that can never happen.
None of us can undo the past. Whether you’re the cheater or the injured person, the affair is a reality you are going to have to live with from now on. That’s true whether you decide to repair your marriage or not. The affair is never going to go away.