It’s Your Choice: Stop Divorce, Survive Infidelity

May 27th, 2015

When you learned that your spouse cheated—or may still be carrying on an affair—did your life stop? Was “divorce” one of the first things that popped into your head?

Affair victims struggle with what their next step should be: try to save the marriage and attempt marriage counseling, or just divorce now because they don’t think they could ever move past the affair.

In this post, I’ll help you make a decision by providing you a starting point: questions to ask yourself when considering whether to seek marriage help, or divorce.

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Survive An Affair and Shattered Emotions

September 29th, 2011

Wish you could go permanently numb to escape the pain of shattered emotions?

You’re not alone. Many who want to survive affair trauma wish they didn’t have to feel so much pain in the process.

You need to understand the two of the top Emotional Roadblocks to Healing you’ll have to cope with in order to survive affair damage and move forward. Keep reading…

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Save Your Marriage Post-Affair: Reach an Agreement

November 9th, 2010

Your spouse’s cheating has the effect of pulling the rug out from under you while also crumbling the foundation of your marriage and annihilating your vows to one another.

Despite the devastation, many victims of an affair have a desire to save their marriage, with the affair being just a very excruciating bump in the road. They think, “I have invested many years with this person—sacrificing, negotiating and accommodating—why should I give all that effort away to someone else? I want things to go back to the way they once were.”

In this post, I’ll show you why going “back” maybe isn’t such a hot idea, and give you some steps to get your efforts to save your marriage moving forward toward a stronger, healthier, happier marriage.

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How to Survive Infidelity and Stop a Divorce

November 2nd, 2010

You may feel like your life imploded when you learned that your spouse cheated—or may still be carrying on an affair. The news rocked your feelings of stability and safety in the marriage. Your biggest question at the moment may be:

Should I go to counseling with my spouse, or should I drive straight over to the divorce lawyer?

In this post, I’ll help you answer this question by providing you a starting point: questions to ask yourself as you decide whether to seek marriage help, or divorce.

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How to Get Over Infidelity and Negative Thoughts

September 28th, 2010

When you learn that your spouse cheated on you, there is a swirl of negative thoughts that hit you. You may feel numb at first. Then the questions start to creep in: “How can this be? Is this my life? Why would this person I love do this to me, to our family, to our marriage?”

Negative thoughts invade your mind, threatening to sweep away your ability to cope with daily life, to feel balanced, to focus on saving your marriage.

In this post, I’ll help you survive these insidious negative thoughts so you can recover your most prized personal asset: your own thoughts.

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Marriage Help: Deciding How to Handle Affair Details

September 21st, 2010

After your spouse’s affair struck a violent blow to the very heart of your marriage, you know you need serious marriage help … immediately. You’re haunted by negative thoughts and images—sometimes before you even know any specific details.

Your marriage has no chance of surviving the infidelity until a very important issue is satisfactorily resolved: how to handle the details of the affair.

You and your spouse, with committed effort, can survive an affair. But your joint efforts may stall if you don’t decide whether you are going to discuss these painful details, and how to handle them if you do. Contrary to common assumptions, for some the best course may be to not discuss specific intimate details of the affair—you may come out stronger for not knowing them. For others, it may be essential to discuss the details before you can move forward.

In this post, I’ll provide you with 3 steps that will help you make this significant decision. Keep reading…

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Marriage Help: Use a “No Closets” Rule

September 14th, 2010

Marriage Help: Use a “No Closets” Rule

For your marriage to survive, in general or specifically through an infidelity, you need to help your marriage by building it on a framework of transparency. This means you and your partner must commit to being completely open about every aspect of your individual lives—especially if your spouse has cheated.

In this post, I’ll help you get started on—or continue in—your efforts to build your marriage and communication between you and your spouse, by employing a “no closets” rule.

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Rediscover Yourself after the Affair

September 7th, 2010

Reeling from the upheaval that results from the revelations during and after the affair, your world may seem shattered into so many fragments that you don’t know which piece to pick up first.

Perhaps you have a family to consider, children who could potentially be negatively impacted by your cheating spouse’s decisions—not to mention your home life and your ability to function as a part of the family. You obviously have your marriage to consider—it’s currently in shreds. You may also have a job to juggle—your inner turmoil could be throwing off your ability to focus.

In the last post, you learned 3 critical steps you must take before you can even begin your journey of rediscovery—as you work to survive the emotional destruction unleashed by your spouse’s affair. In this post, I’ll explain why it’s essential that you focus on yourself, and provide some steps you can take on the path to healthy rediscovery.

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Survive an Affair and Rediscover Yourself

August 31st, 2010

In a twisted way, your partner’s infidelity has handed you a unique gift: the chance to assess your life, what your needs are, and discover who you are. It has probably been a long time since you did that, having spent years of your life in your marriage, and maybe lost sight of the person you once were.

The infidelity has left you reeling, and you find yourself caught up in the aftermath of the emotional devastation your spouse created. Thanks for destroying my life, you selfish weasel, right? You thought you knew this man/woman, and felt secure in your relationship. You thought you knew yourself. Now, all you know is that you’re feeling lost and alone—and have a burning desire to rediscover who you are.

In this post, I’ll share with you the 3 critical steps you must take before you can begin your own journey of rediscovery—and surviving the emotional destruction that your spouse’s affair caused.

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Here’s a couple who survived an affair

September 29th, 2009

Three months ago I sent an email out to those who purchased my program, How to Survive An Affair, looking for real life success stories.

Last month I sent you the story of Julie and Jerry Hamnernick. After received literally hundreds of emails from those of you who were touched, I wanted to send you another powerful story.

This story comes from Arden and Nancy Fox. With the help of my editor Spencer, we were able to capture their story. It’s a little long, but it’s full of details that I know many of you will relate to.

Here is their story:

Arden and Nancy Fox.

“It started out as a job. Arden was doing construction work at Niki’s house. She has a store in her home, and Arden was remodeling the house to make it into a store. I knew this woman from church, we were acquaintances. I knew she was married. I also knew she had some problems. But I never realized how serious the problems would become.”

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