How Should You Handle Affair Details?

April 8th, 2015

After your spouse’s affair struck a mortal blow to the very heart of your marriage, you know you need a tremendous amount of “life support” to save your marriage.

Your marriage has no chance of surviving the infidelity until you satisfactorily resolve how you will handle the details of the affair.

You and your spouse, with committed effort, can survive an affair. But you need to decide how to discuss these painful details—or even if you should, and how to handle them if you do.

In this post, I’ll provide you with 3 steps that will help you make this far-reaching decision. Keep reading…

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Cheaters Never Win: The Tally of Loss

January 9th, 2012

There’s a saying that “cheaters never win and winners never cheat.” Yet, many spouses cheat and think they’re going to somehow win it all—their home life plus something “fun” on the side.

As the victim of a cheater, you are actually in a better frame of mind than your cheating spouse: you can see how he or she will one day wake up and realize just how badly they’ve lost.

In this blog, we’ll explore how you can strengthen yourself and survive your tally of loss while your spouse still has their feet in a fantasy world. Keep reading…

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Saving Your Marriage Brings “Marriage Advantage”

September 14th, 2011

You want some extra incentive for saving your marriage? You’ll live longer.

Marriage has many benefits – which may be hard to see when you’re in the midst of a marriage crisis or trying to survive your spouse’s affair and the ensuing damage.

Researchers call it the marriage advantage. In this blog, I’ll explain to you what it is, and how to maximize it by looking at three areas that could be putting you at a marriage disadvantage.

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Research Finds Cheating Can Release This into Marriage

June 8th, 2011

A cheating spouse takes on a lot of risk when they engage in an affair, including the possibility of losing you, their friends and family, and even losing the respect of colleagues and acquaintances.

Along with cheating, your cheating spouse’s extremely poor error in judgment in having the affair has created the opportunity for one very destructive element to worm its way into your marriage.

And – it’s one that researchers say is predictive of a marriage ending in divorce.

Learn how to counteract this destructive force and save your marriage. Read on to find out more.

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The Hidden Danger in Rebuilding Honesty

June 1st, 2011

Is honesty really the best policy?

It’s a question that many of us may struggle with from time to time. But in a marriage – especially post-affair – honesty is a must-do. Without it, your marriage likely will not survive.

In this blog, we’ll look at honesty and its place in your marriage. But keep reading to discover two surprising dangers associated with adhering to “honesty is the best policy.”

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Are You Emotionally Literate?

May 25th, 2011

After you found out your spouse cheated on you, any doubts that have ever been in the background of your mind about your decision to marry your spouse come roaring to the forefront.

If you had doubts before, the affair has cemented them in your mind. You think, “I never did really understand my spouse, and my spouse certainly doesn’t seem to get me. Maybe we shouldn’t have married…”

And yet, you more than likely want to save your marriage. So refrain from regretting the past and look toward building your future. It’s possible to survive an affair and build a strong relationship—using a method I’ll share with you so you can better communicate the emotions you are feeling. Read on…

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Stop the Emotional Drain of Haunting Affair Images

January 31st, 2011

One of the biggest heartaches for an injured spouse is the haunting images of their spouse’s lover, playing like a horror-movie in their head.

For victims of cheating, there are many reactions to this onslaught of images:

• Loss of sleep
• Lack of appetite
• Inability to focus on tasks
• Struggle to save the marriage

It’s not unusual to carry around these images in your mind. I’ll give you 3 steps for ridding your mind of them so you can get your life back and your emotions on the healing path.

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Guidelines for Creating a Code of Transparency in your Marriage

January 24th, 2011

The trust you had in your spouse has been ruptured. You want to save your marriage, yet, you don’t know how to find a way to trust your partner again.
But if you don’t—you realize that will mean the end of your marriage. You’re in a stalemate: you don’t trust your spouse, and your spouse doesn’t know how to make you believe what they’re saying, and you keep waiting to know that your spouse is being honest with you.
That’s where your attempts to save your marriage may be faltering: what you’re focusing on. Read on to learn the basic guidelines for rebuilding trust—by establishing a Code of Transparency.

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Confiding in Family Can Doom Marriage Reconciliation

July 20th, 2010

If you’ve discovered your spouse has been involved in an affair, you can probably relate to the desire to confess their sins and wrong-doing to the people you feel are in your corner. But think twice before confiding the lurid details of your spouse’s infidelity to friends and family.

Pouring out your hurt, anger and disappointment to family and friends may be your first reaction, but in doing so, you could possibly doom any chance for reconciliation with your spouse. In this blog, we’ll explore whether confiding the affair to family and friends could kill your efforts to repair your relationship with your husband or wife—before you’ve even had a chance to work through the emotions you’re feeling and understand what it is you want.

You’re overwhelmed with emotions and want to lash out. You may find yourself bouncing between two extremes: the desire to hole up somewhere and privately nurse your wounds, yet also needing the embrace of the people you trust to love you and want what’s best for you, who will be there in your time of greatest need.

So what could possibly be wrong with reaching out to the other people in your life?

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Forgiving Infidelity: Could It Improve Your Health?

July 6th, 2010

The emotional devastation you face when your spouse has cheated on you has the power to suck you down into a vortex of hopelessness and desperation. I’ve heard it described as a sickening cocktail of rage, anguish, anxiety, self-doubt, and sleepless nights. The psychological impact is tremendous …

What you may not realize is that these emotions can cripple your physical health as well. And the longer you remain in the smothering embrace of negative emotions, the more likely it is to have an impact on your health.

However, there are ways to ease the pain and minimize its unhealthy effects. In this article, we’ll look at the idea of forgiveness which is a huge hurdle for many. I will also review a proven alternative to forgiveness-one that has the power to help you reduce your emotional anguish, even if you’re not ready for “forgiving and forgetting.”

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