The #1 Reason to NOT Bottle Up Your Pain

April 28th, 2011

Did you know that not expressing your pain to your spouse could increase your risk for serious diseases, such as heart disease and cancer?

As a victim of cheating, what has been unleashed on you is a world of hurt. And one of the hardest conversations you’ll ever have is finding the words to tell your spouse how terribly hurt you are by their affair. The affair has devastated you—emotionally, psychologically – and even physically. You may feel a tremendous amount of stress and pressure.

You need to communicate these feelings and emotions to your spouse—for the sake of your marriage—and for your personal health. In this blog, I’ll give you 3 steps for making this conversation happen.

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Why do Men Cheat? Emotional Affairs may Offer a Clue

April 7th, 2011

What’s cheating? Do you and your spouse argue over whether some of their relationships walk a fine line between friendship and affair?

Many couples have this debate. Your husband or wife may have a friend of the opposite sex that they talk to and occasionally see for lunch. Or, it’s someone your spouse just met. And most disagree at what point the spouse is getting a little too close to someone outside of the marriage.

In this blog, we’ll look at how to define this type of relationship, and 3 steps to bring the emotional connection back home and save your marriage.

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Cheating Husbands… are Wives Responsible?

March 31st, 2011

You found out your spouse had an affair, and the indescribable devastation you feel has shredded your emotions and taken over your every thought.

You realize that marriage is a partnership, and as such, there’s a part of you that wants to shoulder some of the blame for your spouse’s cheating.

Don’t you dare.

Your responsibility comes now, post-affair. In this blog, we’ll look at 3 key responsibilities you have now that the affair is out in the open and as you try to pick up the pieces of your life and your marriage.

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How to Get Over an Affair by Controlling Your Mind

February 28th, 2011

Many people injured by their spouse’s affair say they feel like they’re losing their mind.

In a sense, you are—but it’s not permanent. What you’ve really lost is temporary control of your own thoughts. You’ve been dealt an emotional and psychological blow: you found out that the person you love and trust has committed adultery—and it has hit you like a punch to the gut. Your mind is overrun with negative thoughts, leaving you feeling exhausted, miserable and unhappy.

You’ve been broadsided by the revelation of the affair, and you need time to process this completely unexpected turn in your relationship. In this blog, I’ll share with you some ways to get your thoughts back under your control, and put an end to those negative thoughts.

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3 Keys to Regaining Your Self-Respect Post-Affair

January 18th, 2011

Dealing with the aftermath of your spouse’s affair can be a harrowing time. Your spouse’s cheating may have been an assault on your self-respect, making you lose your sense of self-worth.

If your self-respect has been shredded and is in need of repair, read on. In this post, I’ll give you 3 keys to get you started on your return to a healthy sense of self-worth and respect for the great person you are.

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Saving Your Marriage—Even If You’re Doing It Alone

January 10th, 2011

For a husband or wife who deeply cares about their marriage finds that the relationship with their spouse is slipping away, nothing can be more heart-wrenching than feeling as if your spouse doesn’t share your commitment in making the necessary changes to save your marriage.

Whether it’s depression, confusion, disinterest—or some combination of the three—your spouse may not have reached the point where they’re capable of putting in the effort to salvage your relationship.

In this post, I’ll offer you steps for changing your marriage—on your own.

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How to Survive Infidelity and Stop a Divorce

November 2nd, 2010

You may feel like your life imploded when you learned that your spouse cheated—or may still be carrying on an affair. The news rocked your feelings of stability and safety in the marriage. Your biggest question at the moment may be:

Should I go to counseling with my spouse, or should I drive straight over to the divorce lawyer?

In this post, I’ll help you answer this question by providing you a starting point: questions to ask yourself as you decide whether to seek marriage help, or divorce.

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Dealing with Infidelity: The 3 Healing Phases

October 6th, 2010

Your marriage license didn’t come with a manual to help you navigate through challenging marital troubles—especially those that are related to dealing with a spouse’s infidelity.

After the affair, you are faced with what may seem insurmountable problems. So, are you dealing with the infidelity, or trying to shove it away because the pain is just too great?

In this blog, you will discover the 3 phases you will need to work through to recover from—and survive—infidelity.

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How to Get Over Infidelity and Negative Thoughts

September 28th, 2010

When you learn that your spouse cheated on you, there is a swirl of negative thoughts that hit you. You may feel numb at first. Then the questions start to creep in: “How can this be? Is this my life? Why would this person I love do this to me, to our family, to our marriage?”

Negative thoughts invade your mind, threatening to sweep away your ability to cope with daily life, to feel balanced, to focus on saving your marriage.

In this post, I’ll help you survive these insidious negative thoughts so you can recover your most prized personal asset: your own thoughts.

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Surviving Infidelity: How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Her

August 10th, 2010

Haunted by your spouse’s affair, you, like many victims of cheating, may find you’re constantly comparing yourself to the other woman. Your internal dialogue may sound similar to this:

“She’s probably prettier than me.”

“I’ll bet her body’s firmer, more fit—I’ve really let myself slide.”

“She’s no doubt smart, accomplished, funny—no wonder he couldn’t resist her.”

“I’m not interesting enough to keep anyone’s attention.”

As if learning of the affair and the sordid details weren’t enough, you’re now tormented with an onslaught of negative thoughts and feelings—directed at you, from you.

In this article, I’m going to give you some methods for putting a stop to this nonsense and rally yourself to be your own best friend again.

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