So you may not be able to say at this moment, “I 100% trust my spouse” – especially if adultery is involved. But if you were to discover that you could trust your spouse 25%, 50%–or even 75%, how would that make you feel about the chances of success for saving your marriage?
The shockwave of an affair is widespread: your feelings are crushed, your heart aches, and your marriage foundation has crumbled into pieces.
But what many victims of adultery find most devastating is having their trust in their spouse and in their marriage vows destroyed. Nothing annihilates trust like a spouse’s affair. You know that without trust, efforts to save your marriage are doomed.
In this blog, we’re going to look at 3 forms of trust in a relationship, and how to rate how much trust you really have in your spouse.
Post-Affair Emotional Turmoil Impacts Trust
The initial days after learning of your spouse’s affair are a whirlwind of emotions: you’re numb, yet you ache. Your thoughts race, yet they seem to repeat “My spouse cheated on me!” An onslaught of images attacks your mind, yet they seem to be replaying the same script.
In short, you’re in hell.
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How to Survive an Affair has sold over 20,000 copies and we have hundreds of written testimonials that have told us that Dr. Gunzburg’s program was the single reason they survived.
- Regain your self-esteem after the affair…
- Replace the anger, depression and sadness…
- Forgive your spouse and get a heart-felt apology…
- Rebuild the trust from the ground up…
- Open the lines of communication…
- Eliminate the negative thoughts…
- End the affairs for good…
- Make the relationship better than ever…
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As time passes and you make the effort to heal yourself, you know that the question mark that is your marriage must be addressed. You may have worked through the worst of your negative feelings, and your thoughts are more and more on how you can begin to salvage your marriage.
Your biggest hurdle may be figuring out how to trust your spouse again. You may be working on improving communication with your husband or wife, and yet, there’s a voice inside that keeps saying, “I don’t know how I’ll ever trust this person again.”
You’re about to learn that there isn’t one, absolute way of trusting your spouse. It’s really not an “all or nothing” proposition, like many people mistakenly believe. In fact, there are different types of trust. This should be encouraging because it provides a glimmer of hope that your marriage, after all, can be salvaged – even after adultery has been committed.
Three Forms of Relationship Trust
Even after an affair, there are aspects of your relationship with your spouse where trust still exists. Knowing that your trust really hasn’t been totally and irrevocably annihilated, you may feel better knowing all is not lost: you really do have some form of foundation from which to build.
It’s possible to still have trust in your spouse, despite your spouse’s cheating, because there are five different forms of trust found within a relationship. We’ll look at three of these forms, so you can see the potential you really do have for rebuilding trust in your relationship. Review these three, and then we’ll look at how you can rate how much you trust your spouse in each form.
First Form of Trust: Physical Safety
Hopefully you never have, and never will, experience domestic violence. And if you haven’t, you may take this form of trust for granted: that your spouse would never physically harm you.
This means you aren’t going to bed, feeling like you have to sleep with one eye open the whole night because your partner may suddenly threaten you. You trust that your spouse won’t hurt you. Also, if your home to catch on fire, you trust that your spouse would help you escape.
Second Form of Trust: Financial Security
Marriages are partnerships, and that generally means a financial partnership exists, as well. Whether you combine all of your income, or each is responsible for a portion of monthly expenses—you trust that your spouse will do the responsible thing with money.
By creating this financial arrangement, you are displaying a level of trust in one another. Trusting in your spouse to share this burden of keeping your material world afloat is an enormous form of trust.
Third Form of Trust: Emotional Predictability
You depend on your spouse to be somewhat predictable in expressing their emotions. You trust that when you go out to dinner with them, they won’t suddenly fly into a rage and throw things because they thought you were flirting with the wait staff.
If you’re partner isn’t prone to emotional unpredictability, you may take it for granted. Imagine for a moment if they were: you wouldn’t be able to trust what they would do next, how they would react to what you perceive as an innocent comment, or how they would respond if you broached a challenging topic with them.
Rate Your Level of Trust in Your Spouse
Using these three forms of trust, take each form and give it a grade on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being you absolutely don’t trust them, and 10, you absolutely do trust them.
Hopefully you have found that you have a foundation from which to rebuild trust, discovering some level of trust in each of these three forms.
My best wishes for you as you rebuild trust in your spouse and salvage your marriage.
Have you looked at trust as an “all or nothing” question?
After learning these three forms of trust, how do you now perceive your ability to trust your spouse?
Do you feel that there is some foundation to work from in rebuilding trust?
Please share your thoughts and experiences regarding this critical issue of trust.
Wishing you hope and healing for your marriage,
Stephanie Anderson
Editor-in-Chief
Marriage Sherpa
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Od dawna szukałem artykułu na temat Adultery: Trusting Your Spouse After the Affair MarriageSherpa . Dzięki
My wife of 16 years is having an affair with a lesbian woman. This was the biggest shock I have ever had in my life. In a way it is easer than a “normal” affair in that she is rejecting men rather than me, but it is also more confusing. I can definitly relate to the emotions that all of you are feeling. How could my “Christian wife” possibly do this? I feel betrayed alone with very few people to talk to. No one seem to understand what I am going through. She is now saying that she is confused. She has lost all her friends except her partner. I am not really angry but really hurt. She has been reading liturature form so called gay churches which claim that homosexual relationships are not sinful. I can tell you from experience that it is. If you can see what it has done to my family, me and even her you would know. The gay and lesbian adgenda has filtered into society and now into the churches. I personaly have nothing against homosexuals and their lifestyle except then they destroy families. I don’t know what to do at this time except pray. Any suggestions?
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To the man who’s wife saved her money for breast implants , she has money kick her out! Shehas made no attempt tol change sometimes when we give them what they think they want they don’t want it! Then and only then will you have a wife who is trying to save her relationship if we tryand they cont with lies the writing is on the wall shame on us for not reading it. I know its hard, until I put my ft down and left him with it all the kids dogs bills my eternal love and faith did he realize what he had . He now is begging me to let him change wow what a difference of the year I asked him to be honest with me I finally installed web ware that allwed me to see what he was doing kept quiet then printed it all for the whole family to read and left, it wa scary very scary! But I feel so strong and now know I am beautiful and deserve sooo much more if it is with him it will be on my terms and I don’t know if I want or deserve to allow him back, but you all have that strength pull deep inside and stop allowing them to use you! You will be happier with your selpride and worth! God says he helps those who help thereselves makea move and love yourself and the people that love you not lie and hurt you
Good luck and god bless!
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Boy oh boy is this ever a good site! I can relate to every single entry to one degree or another. Is it “hope” in the morning or “glory” in the morning?Regardless you remind me much of myself-you have a lot to say and you do say it very well.Placing your hand on the Bible is as concrete as giving a Boy Scout salute. My husband has looked me straight in the eye and sworn to God he was telling the truth, (and I believed him), only to find out he was a liar. I’ve learned a PhD from the school of hard knocks.I asked my husband “Do you know how I can tell you’re lying to me?” “Your lips are moving!” That about summed it up for the first two years after I was “enlightened”.It has been 4 years and I am still having trouble with trust. My husband has a big problem realizing that he is just like the rest of us-flawed, imperfect human beings. He resists discussion. There were a lot of questions I had asked once that I wasn’t sure I had gotten an honest to so I needed to ask again. His answers didn’t fit with the rest of the pieces to the puzzle ya know what I mean? When I would broach the topic he would get angry, very angry asking me when I’m going to start to go “forward” in life and stop living in the past? He’d yell “I don’t even think about her anymore until you bring her up”, (Now isn’t that a smooth tactic to get me to back-off?) I remain cool and calm .Sometimes I’d let go for the moment but I wouldn’t forget because I’m trying to finish the puzzle. They just don’t get it. We can’t “move on” just because they want us to. We can move-on when the puzzle is complete, finished. Once the puzzle is complete we have reached an understanding, a complete understanding of what took place and why and we FEEL it is safe to move on with them. The “why” pieces of the puzzle will not ever fit if they are not willing to step up to the plate, humble themselves and reiterate WHERE EXACTLY they f__ed-up and acknowledge to our healing satisfaction that they realize what a devastation it was to us. That means an “I’m sorry. I said f—ed-up. How many times do I have to say ‘I’m sorry?’.” As many times as I need you to in order for me to be healed and be able to believe you really are sorry and not just giving me lip-service to shut me up-that’s how many times!!
Too many people marry what they think is their answer for their own needs….
YOU are NOT responsible for your spouses CHOICES to try to find a ‘fix ‘ for their various ‘needs’ outside of the relationship with you in marriage
Marriage IS the “ARENA ” to face reality and work together on that
Immaturity and weak character lead to expectations that the “other ‘ is some kind of mindreader and responsible to make all our inner dreams come true.
That is a lot to ask of another human being ! Expecting honesty and openess and communication is not out of the question but it takes a mature person to communicate PERIOD !
Everyone is responsible for their own choices and actions …that is a PRIMARY lesson for life we teach our children is it not?
Larry …hope you find some windows of opportunity opening up in your wifes understanding
Men are responsible to nurture their wives but failing that for some reason the wife STILL has a higher authority to answer to and cannot use that for her ‘reasons’ for infidelity.
Sorry …that is what I see anyway ..and most of us who marry should be able to expect loyalty and honesty, as per our stated VOWS .
Brad you are very right TRUE REMORSE is the key to so many things: building honesty, trust, saving the marriage and helping
the betrayed spouse heal! with my wife she has betrayed me
lied to her pastor that is trying to help save our marriage and has
told me point blank that she feels no shame for what she did if i
did not neglect her she would not have had the affair.
this is her second adultery first time 6 months after we married
then on Memorial day weekend 2010 (this will be a hard month)
so without feeling no shame not shown real remorse and on her
second adultery i have 0 trust in her.
Hi. I read “%BLOGTITLE%”. It was good. Visit my blog sometime.
harley davidson exhaust
MRS.M
That was very kind of you …Thank you !
I am not tech saavy…I guess that would be a nice thing…
I study a lot …and share whenever the someone seems hungry that crosses my path.
It is healthy for the body …taking in air ..breathing it out
Recieve …retain …release…Kind of a principle of life eh?
With the personal nature of what is going on in my life I am shy to allow my identity be known ..the OW is still very close in our area…and also want to protect our family ..and the future for our marriage so I am not sure that is something I could do .
But I will consider this ..
I really enjoy sharing here ….I am very ‘long winded ‘ which I realize is tough unless someone is really driven to find out what I have to say ….and has the TIME too !
Anyway ..as AA Milne once wrote ..out of the mouth of Eeyore whose tail Pooh had just tacked back on after he had found it ..” YOU’RE a REAL friend POOH …..NOT like SOME ! ”
One of my childhood family’s favorite quotes.
Hugs for YOU! Mrs M!
hope in the morning you should start your own blog. I enjoy hearing your POV. Thank you for your encouragement.
I like that agreement you two made of ‘I don’t know ‘ being ‘banished ….’ great idea…it takes lot for someone to get to that point I think …good for you two!!!!
I know my husband trusts me with certain things. We made choices together once my affair came out. He was there as I left my job and as we moved. He helped me through the toughest decision I have ever made. He helped me protect our sons. He has helped me find why. I am earning his respect and trust everyday by being honest and transparent with everything. I believe he trusts me 50% I know that is hard for him. When we talk the phrase “I don’t know” is banished from my vocabulary. I am learning what a real relationship is is about for the first time in my life.
The Bible is not going to MAKE anyone DO what it tells us .
Even the Pharisees that KNEW scripture did not KNOW WHO was standing in front of them
A change of heart …is what it takes.
Putting a hand on the BIble…or going into a building called ‘CHURCH” does not a follower of the LORD MAKE
Look into the source of that …WHO does it reveal is the ‘FATHER of LIES”…that implies fatherhood …seed…..
Jesus CHRIST has told us that the WORD is the INCORRUPTIBLE SEED’
That those who are going to be HIS …must be ‘born of that seed’ …and THOSE who ARE HIS brothers and sisters…mother ..are those that DO what HE says …not those who give lip service and live like the devil …
Liars….need to have a CHANGE of HEART …INSIDE .
I am trying to regain the trust I had in my husband of 21 years. I found out about his affair about a year ago and am still torn up over it. I have forgiven him but told him I will NEVER forget. The sites talk about the offender being transparent but I can’t seem to make him understand this. I have been doubting everything he has told me over the last year and finally put down a list of questions that I needed truthful answers for. I had him read them and then swear on a Bible as to his answers. (Oh yeah, he claims to be religious even though he is a liar and a cheat.) I was satisfied with his answers and truly believe he would not have lied again with his hand on a Bible. Naive of me maybe but it really did help. I am now in another state, trying to figure out if our marriage really is worth saving. He gave his w**re our money too at a time when he accused me of spending too much money. Says he “felt sorry for her” so we paid her damned rent! What the hell???!!! I have physical trust. (my sons and brothers would beat the holy hell out of him if he ever physically hurt me) and sort of financial trust but the rest is a question. He has hurt me like no other and it is so hard to let myself go and totally trust him again. As a side comment…my darling husband started his affair shortly after my young son died in our home. While I was grieving he was out in town, drinking and partying with his “friend” at “our” bar. In front of everyone. We live in a small town and our name is well known. Add humiliation to the mix.I am still grieving for my son and the loss of trust in my husband and marriage. It is so hard to know that I have not only lost a baby but a marriage I thought was solid and I could rely on. Do I trust him? Not yet. A little more now than a year ago but not as much as I would like. Will it ever come back????
I am trying to regain the trust I had in my husband of 21 years. I found out about his affair about a year ago and am still torn up over it. I have forgiven him but told him I will NEVER forget. The sites talk about the offender being transparent but I can’t seem to make him understand this. I have been doubting everything he has told me over the last year and finally put down a list of questions that I needed truthful answers for. I had him read them and then swear on a Bible as to his answers. (Oh yeah, he claims to be religious even though he is a liar and a cheat.) I was satisfied with his answers and truly believe he would not have lied again with his hand on a Bible. Naive of me maybe but it really did help. I am now in another state, trying to figure out if our marriage really is worth saving. He gave his w**re our money too at a time when he accused me of spending too much money. Says he “felt sorry for her” so we paid her damned rent! What the hell???!!! I have physical trust. (my sons and brothers would beat the holy hell out of him if he ever physically hurt me) and sort of financial trust but the rest is a question. He has hurt me like no other and it is so hard to let myself go and totally trust him again. As a side comment…my darling husband started his affair shortly after my young son died in our home. While I was grieving he was out in town, drinking and partying with his “friend” at “our” bar. In front of everyone. We live in a small town and our name is well known. Add humiliation to the mix.I am still grieving for my son and the loss of trust in my husband and marriage. It is so hard to know that I have not only lost a baby but a marriage I thought was solid and I could rely on. Do I trust him? Not yet.
Not a lot …just found out that he secretly deposited more money in her account….
Lying sets us back …it was a month ago ..and he never tipped his cards to let me know …
Lying is such a harmful way to live ..and to lie to a spouse is the worst ..especially when trying to recover from adultery …
Four years from Dday and now I catch him at this ..and I have not been ‘police ‘ of him …I just do not want to live my life having to moniter him .
I told him GOD sees all that he does ..and if he really does want the life he said he does …without lying he is going to have to make a real effort to break that sneaky way ..
He is such a ‘dignified ‘ person it is appalling he finds lying such an easy way to live …compromising truth is not attactive …
ARGH ..I am so sad to find him doing this …and he is ‘sorry ‘ …but that is not enough …
Why is it that he would rather ‘die’ than make the effort to change….sigh ..
too much for me tonight .tired !
maybe ‘dignified’ is too good a word…more like ‘slick’ now that the truth is out…
Brad,
Trust will be an issues for some time. As it turns out, when waywards go through such extraordinary lengths to hide their activities, the real question is why/how can we really every trust them again.
It will take time to rebuild trust and will have everything to do with your spouse’s desire to be transparent in their dealings and have remorse for their activities. True remorse is the key. Trust should be meted out in proportion to the remorse they exhibit for their behavior and it is their behavior. You are not at fault. You own 50% of your marital problems but they own 100% of the affair. Never forget that.
Financial, it is necessary to have regular reports dealing with finances where you meet weekly/monthly to discuss. My spouse and i have online accounts where money is directly deposited but both of us know the passwords and can access our joint funds. There should be no secrets. She doesn’t have the remorse that I think she have so I don’t trust her. I believe half of what she says. I wish it weren’t so but for now due to some job circumstances for me, it is what it is and I protect myself. Emotionally and financially!!
Now if you want separate finances, then you need to have so agreement as to the split of marital assets/income that both find acceptable. Financial experts like Suzy Orman (and I … my background is accounting/finance) recommend a prorata split of expenses based on income.
The point is that you should never have to worry about your financial security and if you do, you probably have a deeper issue that means you can never fully connect/trust them .
Know that if you have separate finances, you may need to take
that all the way through to filing separate tax returns. If your spouse can hide money have secret income etc and you file a joint return and under report your income due to your spouses neglect, this is a very big IRS problem. Their are some innocent spouse remedies but you have some risks here and maybe some burden of proof that you didn’t know what they were doing.
Smytee
So to answer the above question, my trust level may be at 50%. Physical trust isnt an issue, she is a pretty small person. She has argued at me with her fist clenched before, but I dont see her hurting me. Financial trust, she violated that one big time, with a hidden savings account. The only way I found it is that she used the same bank we already bank at. So when a form came with only her name on it, a red flag went up in my mind and I opened it. But she could easily open an account at a different bank, and use her work e-mail, I cant access it. And I really would never know. So that is one thing she could easily do again. The emotional trust is pretty low also as one could guess. She hurt me very bad. I never thought she could be so cold hearted and cruel.. She totally shut me out and was hateful, things have changed in the last 6 or so months, but I still am guarded, I cant help it. I dont think I could handle that pain again. So about 50% of trust is about were I am.
I used to have an unbelievable amount of trust in my spouse, but as we all know , that trust was abused by my spouse in the form of an affair, and a hidden savings account. She was secretly putting money in an account that she was going to use when she left me. I was working my tail off and wondering why we couldnt keep any money in our savings account. Turns out she was putting money in a seperate one and using our savings to keep up with some bills. It went on for a few years believe it or not. She kept giving excuses that we dont make enough to cover bills. It was all bull. She was going to move out and use the money for breast implants, yes, you read that right. We couldnt afford to replace our central air conditioning in our home, but she had an 8 thousand dollar account hidden away I never knew about. We had to put the air condidtioning on a credit card. She put breast implants before our home and the kids comfort. It was the dead of summer too. This happened besides the affair, I only found out about the account after I found out about the affair. So you can wonder if I dont trust everything my wife tells me. I still have questiuons about dozens of phone numbers I found on her cell phone bill. She says she has no clue who’s phone nnumbers they are. But she called them, and the only ones I question are multiple calls. Not just one call. But its always the same answer, she doesnt recognize the number. This is a major factor why I still feel there is more she hasnt told me, and why my trust level isnt there.. The affair and the money and the lies about it all, it still haunts me how far away from our family she wandered. And how easy it was for her to lie to me.
I think the trust level has a lot to do with what I see him proactively doing to LEARN about what he did …how he got there….and what he needs to do …in order for HIS part in this recoverying and learning to relate.
One thing that is difficult that I see after looking over all things past in how he lived and made his choices is that he seemed to want the marriage but still did not want to be open and become ‘one’ as marriage requires to BE a marriage in truth
Most of us marry knowing it is for life ..yet the understanding of what the FUNCTION of marriage is by the Creator of it is not known or understood.
For me , as a follower of Christ I began my walk and found that most of it was about the changes within me that were what that walk in follow Christ were about .
First to show me ME …what my flesh is and how it works against the things that are really BEST and Good in terms of changes to free me from various ways the flesh and self move people to do whatever without much understanding or thought about the various consequences….particularly in the culture of post modernism….self is really a big idol and is more and more encouraged .
In times past people had more knowledge and reason to get more from the Bible themselves…and more respect for the boundaries …the fruit of that were the WORKING OUT for the sake of oneness that in and of itself has great benefits.
Today there are so few examples for people to see the benefits of this kind of life IN marriage together ….with the purposes understood of the benefits of focus upon loyalty and loving ONE person ..
The culture today focuses upon the fear of losses of some kind of ‘thrills ‘ of something new…and it is more and more a throwaway society despite the many worries over recycling
People are not to be recycled…we are offered a tremedous ‘tool ‘ for character strengthening and further development and loving by way of the way Marriage is designed to give us ONE person who we can trust to be a very good reflection to us of HOW our being effects them ..and thus may be able to develop better ways to BE in life as we touch others.
Marriage in it’s image before people has been distorted for the most part.
Trust comes from demonstrating trustworthiness…but frankly ..Jesus was the MOSt trustworthy and people STILL rejected his message …even after his resurrection ..
The flesh and lusts of it are far too compelling for some to realize the depth of damage that leading a life by appetites will damage the various ways a life lived in terms of moral boundaries can be good for not just themselves and their spouses and family but all of society .
Deception and acceptance of the various ways media and peer groups encourage unleashed desires and self instant gratification have no virtues to be gained…and many who are interrupted by reality either by being discovered or by divorce and marriage to the adulterous partner realize after the fact …is testimony
Still people open themselves up for further temptation by being selfish …hard hearted …and simply lazy .
This open door seems to bring forth very similar ‘fruit’ …makes the various ways that God talks about demons seem rather to be very real ….so many stories here alone reflect the similarity that comes about …
There is a story about the man who cleans his ‘house’ …[ aka body ] and does not shut the door …does not put anything in the vacant place that he just cast a demon out of …and that one comes back finds nothing there…and brings seven more worse than himself
In some ways the choices that many make to pursue adultery starts with a rejection of their conscience….or the moral laws that are within each of us …they then start to consider the possiblities ..and mentally make accusative ‘notes’ of their disappointments in their spouses as life in close proximity DOES present some
They keep this tabs without being honest enough to talk about them ..they HIDE their thoughts…then their actions ..and then they eventually seek and OUT rather than face the life that is to be found through honest …comradery and sharing all of what is on their minds with their spouses…and grow together.
The fear of living authentically and deeply involved in a goal of oneness is one thing that causes distancing ….finding ways to be too busy ..too tired…too bored [!] and thus seeking more superficial ways to enjoy life…which does NOT address the deep need for companionship that marriage is created to offer.
The NEED is expressed as God spoke …everything was declared ‘VERY GOOD ‘ UNTIL Adam did not find a companion …for the first time in scripture in the BEGINNING …GOD declared ‘ IT IS NOT GOOD …for man to be ALONE”
Fear today of being changed …of being dependent ..of being accountable has led many a man to shun the full engagement that marriage and being a husband is about …it is impossible to become ONE without leaving all other relationships in terms of priority …energy …and focus…
It is very difficult to become ONE if one will NOT become available and open ….
This fear of commitment of self to marriage has been fed to people through several generations.
This need to HIDE started with Adam trying to hide from GOD back when he refused to be submitted to the authority and lordship of GOD and man has been running for cover ever since…
As in the garden …God called man into account and man blamed GOD and the WOMAN …
The woman admitted to being deceived . She was not told face to face by GOD the prohibition but she was informed…she was accountable
God held Adam accountable …and thus a man had to be the full and complete sacrifice…a man without sin ..Jesus Christ.
Running from GOD …running from accountability …being our own only higher authority and being led around by feelings has brought forth the poor choices and the increasing captivity to sin that is NOT something anyone has done TO anyone but each one makes the decision to take one step at a time downward …each one leads further and further into the control by sin over the person
It can be reversed …it can be delivered …but the PERSON must make that decision to allow CHANGE and that by LISTENING to the ways GOD will show him or her to STOP …and then to fill up on the wisdom that GOD has to offer.
Jesus freed us all from the captivity to the flesh …we do not HAVE to obey the lusts and appetites. ..once we see what that is and how it causes us to THINK we have no choice…or to think that acting upon our lust is ‘freedom ‘ when it is …as many hear can attest to …sin is a prison …
The key is to become humble …to allow that you do not know everything …and not to assign the help that is offered to you as some kind of enemy
The light of the Word of GOD …is not loved BY those that love to sin ..or think that they do ..
But the truth about your own cause of weakness in the face of temptation is freedom to choose to deny it access.
I grieve with all of you as I have my own situation….extreme as many of you sadly do …My husband allowed his mind to become darkened as he went more and more after pleasure ..and soon that led to things outside the boundaries of what love is …
God loves us …and he has NOT brought anyone TO anyone who is married …
Once that vow is made ..HIS will is for those who marry to be ‘off the market’ .
There is a truth that what you focus upon long enough you will either appreciate or hate.
The person who marries …who listens to the worlds rhetoric…will be decieved into thinking anything BUT his marriage is where the action and satisfaction is …
Those who come out of the captivity by THEIR OWN making that decision to oppose their apptetites and walk in the right …put up the proper walls and open the window to the spouse….they find this so true …
Saddness is there …sorrow for sin and for foolish choices…but healing is there for those who are willing to do the work AND for those who will seek out the LORD they will find the impossible IS possible with HIM
THe Lord is mocked and reviled and rejected by those who are caught in sin and are deceived into thinking it is some kind of profitable activitiy …soon they learn this is short lived.
The spouse THEY CHOSE …with knowledge of the fact that in marriage they are expected to remain loyal …and for life….is STILL the ONLY spouse they are made ONE with by GOD and they may have YET to enter into that treasure that is unique to all other relationships that they will every have on earth ..
NONE like that one ..
Never will be
For GOD does not make mistakes …He gives the man permission to care for ONE of HIS daughters…ONE …and only ONE
Any other one …is NOT that covenant spouse …
May each one WAKE up ..including my own ..as he is slowly coming out of the fog… BUT he still has to stop self protecting …
Funny they trust a total stranger who is willing and eager to break into a marriage …to lie …to steal …to do all kinds of unhealthy things…but they have lost their minds…in terms of not trusting the ONE person that has proven trustworthy over many years.
Is that not something to make you wonder if the idea of demon influences are not part of this wave of very similar forms of ways people are being infested by this activity!
By the way ..I do NOT endorse ” deliverance ministries’ that abound …I personally believe after many years of examining this sort of phenomina …that personal READING and THINKING about the scripture and asking GOD to clean up the mind through HIS intervention by way of knowledge and living what HE tells you from scripture personally is the way that this is taken care of ..
It takes TIME …and persistance …and ongoing application but I have seen results in our marriage …slowly …as my husband still is very proud and fears anyone telling HIM what to do ….including GOD …but the truth shines and it is hard to deny what it reveals IN US ourselves and then what is going on around us …
Hope this helps…with GOD all things are possible when we believe ….
Help though my unbelief …
That comes through our seeking HIM ..and continuing in HIS word..
thanks for sharing your stories…it really helps us to know we are all not alone…and this site is a wonderful one …it is actually the best of all the ones I have seen …
Keep it open please.